A/n : I'll use "I/me" instead of "she/her" because i feel more comfortable like that. ☺💛
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I can't see the sun anymore, this small city is becoming calmer and calmer. I need to get up and go back to my house, but i'm too lazy to do that, i feel very heavy, and the thoughts inside my head make it worse.
I forced my self to stand up, i took my things and put them all in my backpack, i took my notebook, and started walking back to my house.
Everything is dark, everything is different, no people rushing in the road, no happy children running and bumping into people... It's only me, the road and my loneliness. It may seem calm, but it's not... it's a mess inside of me...
A calm mess.
I arrived to my house, i took off my shoes and headed inside, my father was sleeping on the couch wearing his work uniform, he has been working really hard these days, i covered him and went directly to my room.
After showering and preparing my shcool bag for my first day of school tomorrow, i went to my bed, i took my phone and started scrolling looking at those loved and beautiful girls that got all the attention, something i would never relate to...
_________________
I was waiting for the bus to go to school alone, the 161 was always late. As I waited, I reminisced back to the many journeys I had made on that bus. Surprisingly, the bus came fast, I entered glancing around to the familiar surroundings that I almost considered my second home. I looked fondly at the grey pavement with cracks the council had promised to fix many a time but, unsurprisingly, had never done so. I surveyed the black chewing gum dotted around everywhere that looked slightly like a piece of life-size abstract art that belonged in the Tate Modern; I wondered what it would symbolize. I felt the cold, hard plastic seats beneath me; saw the deteriorating council and their unkempt gardens; heard the heavy drone of cars on the nearby dual carriageway..
I arrived to school, i was too afraid to enter but i managed to, my first class was history.
The teacher introduced himself, and asked us to do the same thing, the students were pretty exited about doing that, the first one was interested in art, the second knew how to sing the third one had a youtube channel the fourth said that she was a social media influencer, some of the students just said that they like to draw or to read.
They knew what they liked and what they wanted to do... They talked a lot, they all seemed like they could even write a whole book about themselves.
It's my turn, i didn't even knew it untill i noticed the stares from my classmates and of course being the typical me, i started panicking, my breathing got heavier, my heart went crazy, but i managed to hide it, i'v always knew how to hide and fake my feelings.
"I-i am Anna D-divion, i'm 17 y-years old."
That was the only thing i could've said...
"Nice, talk to us more about your hobbies, passtime, and maybe something you are good at, something that can make you special in our class"
I felt at that time ashamed, not only in front of the others, but also in front of me! 17 years and i still don't know what i'm good at, i found myself shocked, i-i can't even make two nice sentences about me!
"Guess she is the nobody of the class! " a guy sitting behind me said Sarcastically.
"Pathetic" a girl murmured with a disgusted tone.
I was too busy thinking about the reason why i couldn't give a respond that i didn't care about what they said, but i knew that i will think, cry, care about it later...
