Self-Destruction Made Easy: An Alex Rider Fanfiction

Settling In

Thank all of you for reading, and I don't really have an excuse for why this took so long. But to all of the people who've been waiting patiently for the next chapter, I am so so so so sorry for taking so long with this one. Ily all so much,

~Panic!

~Alex's PoV~

It had been two months and his plan was already being meticulously picked apart by the Avengers, and they didn't even know it existed. They had been thwarting every attempt to extract information, and they weren't even trying. He had done everything MI6 had advised him to, and still, nothing. He was literally their secretary and he could. not. get. his. hands. on. anything. substantial. It was confusing, frustrating, and even though it seemed simple on paper, it was one of his hardest jobs.

Not to mention the tower was full of triggers. It didn't matter where he was, or who he was with, there would always be a trigger. He couldn't avoid them, no matter where he went. He had been descending slowly into this mess of emotions, and trying to get this done as fast as possible was the only thing keeping him sane. Yet, it was also making him feel crazier. And he hated it. People say that hate is a strong word, but Alex did not care. He despised working at the tower, and he didn't care who knew.

On the 21st of January Alex woke up to a package and a letter. Just like the 21st of the previous month. He ripped it open carefully and unfolded the contents.

Hey kid,
This is a less than formal invitation to join all of us at the pool on the top floor, 2:30 sharp. We wanted to tell you in person, but you didn't answer when we knocked, so we decided to let you sleep in. I know you said you didn't have a bathing suit, so I bought you one. Oh, and in case you were wondering this is a work requirement since you missed it last month.
~Tony

"Great," Alex muttered. He usually loved to swim, but as of right now he was dealing with some insecurities. He sighed and rolled up his sleeve to take a look at his watch. It was 1:35. Snatching the box off of the ground, he passed by the trash can and tossed the card.

"Did he have to be so passive-aggressive? Jeez.." After the package had been ripped open and the wrapping paper was peeled back, a swimsuit was revealed. It was nice, he supposed. Well as nice as a swimsuit could possibly be. It was quite plain, with an adjustable waistband, although, knowing Tony, it wouldn't have to be used. He set it down on the bed and hopped in the shower, washing his hair.

He got out of the shower and looked in the mirror. What he saw was unremarkable. He reached down and opened one of the drawers underneath the sink, pulling out a hairdryer. The heat washed over him in a stifling manner, and he pressed the cool button. Cool air poured out of the dryer and it was easier to breathe. Ten minutes later his hair was dry, and he was hungry, so he put on shoes and padded down the hall to the kitchen. Most of the rooms were on this floor, as well as the kitchen, and the training deck.

The walls were thinner than he would've liked, so he had developed a quiet demeanor, and tried not to make loud noises, even when everyone was awake. It was a habit that everyone in the tower found disconcerting and even terrifying, as one second you'd be alone, and then wham! There he was. This was the reason that Clint dropped the bagel he had previously slathered in cream cheese and was about to shove in his mouth.

"Jesus Alex, you scared the hell outta me." Clint sounded annoyed.

"Sorry." Alex murmured, reaching for the fridge's door handle.

"So, you're coming to the pool later? We tried to ask you in person but you were sleeping." As he pulled the turkey out of the fridge, Alex sighed. He wasn't sleeping, he just didn't want to talk to them. He hadn't been sleeping for more than four hours every day. It was starting to take a toll on his reaction time too, thank god no one noticed. He hated feeling vulnerable.