The New Girl | 𝘈𝘛𝘌𝘌𝘡

I Still Love You

SUE

There's another knock at my door, and I groan. "Go away!"

"It's me!" Yunho calls from the other side.

"Oh," I assumed it was my dad, given he's tried to get me to come to the door at least 50 times since he came back home from wherever the hell he was.

But since it's Yunho, I pad over to the door and open it up for him. There's only one small problem though, when I open the door, the very man that I've been desperately avoiding is standing right behind him.

Yunho looks back at me with his big puppy eyes and a please-don't-kill-me expression. "I had no choice, jagi."

I save my glaring for my father and try to scare him away with my expression. "You're using my boyfriend to trick me? You really think that's going to help."

"I don't know what will help, Sue, but that's not going to stop me from doing anything I can to apologize to you." My dad gives me a sad look, and I almost feel bad for him. He clearly hasn't slept in a while, and his posture shows visible exhaustion. "I should have been here, and I'm sorry that I wasn't. I would give anything to have been there for you this past year, but if you'd just let explain, I promise there is more to the story."

My instinct is to slam the door, but Yunho is carefully standing in harm's way, so that idea is out of the question. How the hell can I get rid of him?

"Jagi," Yunho steps forward enough to place his warm hands on my shoulders, "your dad told me what happened, and I think you should give him a chance to tell you. Please? For me?"

"That's cheating." I frown back at him. He and I both know that I can't tell him 'no'. I try for a few seconds to find the strength to deny my sweet boyfriend, but I end up giving in anyway. "Fine."

My dad takes the opportunity to come inside of my apartment, and I look between the two of them awkwardly. "Do you uh... wanna sit down?"

"Sure," my dad answers, but neither of us move towards the furniture.

It takes a few more seconds, but then Yunho takes the lead and walks over to the couch. I take the seat beside him and move to hold his hand out of habit.

"Your dad is watching," he whispers nervously, but I shush him with a kiss on the cheek.

"I don't care, I feel more comfortable holding onto you." I give him a soft smile while my dad sits down in the chair across from us.

"Well uh," my dad looks at me, visibly weighing his next words in his head before speaking them aloud, "I made a mistake, Sue. I thought I was protecting you at first, but really, I was protecting myself.  I was only planning to be gone for a week and as the time kept getting longer, I felt like I couldn't face you after I left. It was wrong of me and I'm so sorry."

"I get that you're sorry," I say with a neutral tone. "What I don't quite understand is what was so important that you had to abandon me with my uncles? At least I was too young to remember when mom left. I didn't think you'd stoop as low as her."

"Nothing is important enough to have just left you the way that I did, without any explanation. I know that now, and I would take it back if I could. The thing is, sweetheart, I learned something that I need to tell you and I'm not sure how you'll feel about it."

I give my father an incredulous expression, which prompts him to go on.

"When you were born, it was the happiest day of my life. I always wanted to be a father and you were my dream come true, and I have always loved you more than anything. But after you were born, things got complicated between your mom and I. We drifted apart somehow and I was hurt... and so I made a mistake."

My eyes widen. Is my dad really saying what I think he's saying?

"I had an affair with a coworker. It was short and I felt terribly about how it ended, and when I told your mom, she left me... she left us. It's my fault that your mom left and that's something I will never forgive myself for."

I really don't need a recap on my childhood without a mother. She left before I was a year old, so the only memories that I have of her live in photographs, but it didn't make me miss her any less. "What does this have to do with my—..." I pause as the pieces begin to line up "...did you... find my mom?"

"No, sweetheart, I'm so sorry." My dad's expression somehow gets even sadder as he looks back at me. "The woman that I... you know... she passed away 2 years ago. I hadn't seen or spoken to her in so long, but then a lawyer showed up at my studio with child support papers."

"Child support?" I honestly can't believe my ears at this point. "You had a fucking child with her?!"

"I swear, I had no idea," my dad says in a pleading tone. "She never told me about him, not once. I had no contact with her once I told your mom and she moved away soon after. I had no idea he existed until I learned that he lost his mother."

"So you went to find him," I reason.

"Yes," he runs a hand through his hair, clearly searching for an adequate way to explain this to me in a way that won't make me want to slap him. "My paternal instinct kicked in and all I could think about was how I let my son grow up without me and now he doesn't have his mother either. I didn't want you to be upset with me, so I told you I was going away on business and told your Uncle Mark to watch out for you so you could stay and enjoy the rest of high school with your friends. I just wanted to do right by you, but I should have just been honest with you."

"Wow," I gasp and lightly squeeze Yunho's hand to comfort myself. "I... don't even know what to say at this point..." I begin to wonder about the boy that he spent all that time searching for. "So where is he then? Where's my brother that made you abandon me?"

"Please don't blame him. He's a victim in this situation." My father looks between me and Yunho, searching for the best way to continue. "He's in Seoul. It turns out that he's been here the entire time, but I had no idea so I went looking for him back in his hometown and well, it turned into a longer search than I had hoped."

"Just a bit," I mumble.

"Sue, you're missing the good part; you have a brother," Yunho adds gently. "You always wanted a sibling and now you have one. I know it's not the normal way, but your dad only left to go find your brother. And now that he did, he came back for you."

"I guess..." I have always wished for a sibling, seeing my friends growing up with their own built in best friends made me feel like I was missing out. I frown at my dad, still curious as to where this alleged brother actually is. "So... do I get to meet him?"

"Of course, whenever you're ready." My dad has a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "Oh sweetheart, you don't know how happy it makes me to be able to tell you all of this. I've been looking forward to all of us being a family agai—"

"—Dad, this is a lot to process." I stop him before he can get too excited. "I still don't trust you after you just left like you did. It broke my heart when you never came back, and I'm not over just because you're here now. You should have told me what was going on way sooner. I would have understood."

His face falls from my words, but I need a chance to voice my side of things.

"I..." I sniffle as the tears start to build. "I think you should go. I need some space from you."

My dad and Yunho both look disappointed with my response, but I don't really care at the moment. I watch my dad get up with his shoulders drooping and fight the urge to jump up and hug him.

"Dad," I call after him softly. "I still love you... but I don't like you very much right now."

He smiles weakly at me. "I'll work on that. Thanks for hearing me out."

And with that, he quietly slips out of the door, much to my relief. I bury my face in Yunho's chest at the first opportunity and wait for the comforting scent of his body wash to distract me from the past few minutes.