A Selfless Sacrifice - A Niam Horayne Story *ON HOLD*

Chapter 7

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A Selfless Sacrifice

Chapter 7

Niall’s POV

14/11/12

It’s a Wednesday today and I’m currently walking home after another day of torture at school. All of Liam’s friends started with the bullying again. And there I thought that they finally decided to leave me alone and stop putting me through all of that. But I guess I was wrong, like I always am. Speaking of which, Liam is still nowhere to be seen. I thought he was back cause like … what other reasons are there for his friends to start shoving me around again? I should be used to all the punches, kicks, shoving and hurtful comments by now but today, it was different. Liam wasn’t there and everything seemed to be piling on top of everything else all at the one time. I felt lost and more alone than ever. I would usually just get over it and shrug it off. I use to treat it as if it was normal, a daily routine but it wasn’t like that today. I would say that it finally got to me but it always got to me, I just pretended that I didn’t care. And behind every “I don’t care”, came another scar.

Ohh by the way, mum is getting worse, much worse. It was hard this morning. I didn’t want to but I did, I gave up, I ran out, straight to the door knowing that mum really needed me at that moment. But hey, you can’t really blame me right? She did forget who I was after all. She forgot who her own son was! Well technically, she didn’t forget me but she started calling me Greg, at least she remembers one of us though. But that really hurt, and I knew that she was going to ask me for help but I just ran off. I left her all alone in the house without anyone. Greg left early who knows where to.

But like I said last time, she keeps thinking that dad is still here, like he never went. She acts like he is standing right in front of her. It’s weird you know, what am I supposed to do? I can’t help her because trust me,I’ve tried, but she won’t listen. Maybe it’s nice, she remembers when our lives were normal and everything was fine. It would be nice to live in that world again.

Also, because of her forgetting things, I guess I can self-diagnose it as dementia. To all the people around her, it looks like she’s talking to herself but I know she’s talking to dad, well at least she thinks she is anyway. I haven’t had the guts to go to the hospital because I’m scared of what they will say, what Liam went through with his mum was horrible and I can’t imagine being able to cope with that trauma and pain. It’s not really the part when they will tell me what Mum has, cause honestly I already know the answer, it’s that part when they tell me what’s going to happen next. How much worse it’s going to get, how much pain she is going to be in. So that’s why I’m waiting, waiting for that moment when it becomes too much   for her and for me, because honestly she is happy in her own little world. Some days I wish that I was like mum just forget all the bad things but really that’s not how life goes. But speaking of hospitals, Greg did take her. She has regular check-ups but I made sure that he keeps all the information to himself because I know I wouldn’t be able to cope with everything.

“What took you so long?” I heard Greg question just as I shut the front door.

“It was raining outside so I waited a bit before I left” I replied.

I lied to him again. It was actually not the rain; it was Liam’s friends again. That friend of his that seems to follow me everywhere I go, that Andy or Anthony or whatever his name is guy. He shoved me up against the lockers and punched me straight in the stomach just after school. Then he just walked off laughing with the rest of his friends leaving me alone on the floor. I just lay there for at least 10 minutes curling into a ball and releasing all the pain from my problems from my mum, to my dad, even to Liam and just everything else from the tears that overflowed and poured down my extremely pale face. Then I remembered that I needed to be home to make dinner for the night since it was my turn. So I had to quickly jog/limp home while clutching onto my bruised stomach and forcing the tears back from the pain. I made sure to stop and take a deep breath, wipe away the tears and stand straight before walking into the house.

“Ohh, alright then. Since you’re already late, you better start with dinner; I’m out for the night so you’ll be with mum tonight.” And then he walked out the door leaving me on my own to look after mum.

 -

“Hey mum! How has your day been?” I asked mum walking up to her frozen figure on the couch.

“I want Greg, where’s Greg?” she replied blankly.

Making sure to hide the pain in my eyes I reply, “He just went mum, I’m spending the day with you today” I say, with a sad smile

“I don’t want you here, I was my Greg!” she yelled straight to my face.

With that, I walked straight into my room slamming the door shut. I don’t know what I did wrong; I don’t know what I have to do for her to want me around. I miss my mum; I miss the mum that cared about me, that looked after me, that was able to look at me with a smile on her face. I sobbed into my pillow, closing my eyes and cuddling into myself.

~

“SHIT!” I mentally yelled at myself. I checked the clock on my wall seeing that it was already 7:30PM and knowing that I haven’t made dinner for my mum or for Greg when he comes home yet. I quickly scramble off my bed and jog into the kitchen forgetting about the incident that happened earlier today with my stomach. Just when I reached the kitchen, I felt pain hit me like a ton of bricks as I fell to the floor. It felt like multiple punches were being thrown at me all at the one time. I grasped onto my t-shirt crying out in pain. Then out of nowhere, I see Greg's face towering over me. I thought he was gone for the night? What the hell.

“What’s wrong Niall?” he asks, worried.

“Nothing, nothing, I fell over during soccer today.”

“That’s what you said last time.” He replied, his forehead creasing from worry.

“Well …. I fell again okay? And I forgot so now it hurts because I just … ran out here”

“Are you sure yo-”

“I’M FINE, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!” I cut him off, storming into my room again …

-

“Niall, open the door!” Greg yelled from the other side of the old wooden door.

“Just leave me alone Greg, I’m not in the mood right now” I whispered, barely audible.

“I know it wasn’t from soccer Ni, stop lying to me. I’ll talk to you tomorrow then” he replied.

I don’t know how he knows but I don’t care right now. I’m tired and I feel sick. Anyway, I need to go and write my diary entry now so bye for now!

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“Remember this Niall, remember what happened.

Niall Horan”

I signed at the end of today’s diary entry.