Introduced (Reece Bibby fanfiction)

Chapter 16

"Alice" Casey said. The rest of the boys were all stood behind me looking shocked. Reece and Rebecca carried on kissing, shattering my heart into more pieces as every second passed. I couldn't be here. I turned and ran out of the club running across the road to the bridge that crossed the railway. I climbed onto the bridge and sat with my legs dangling over the edge, sobbing hysterically. I could hear a train coming, I could see it. Trains were so convenient, always there when you wanted them. This was it, my time to go. I was ready for this. I stood up, waiting for the perfect time to jump.

"ALICE WHAT ARE YOU DOING" I turned around to see Casey running towards me and lost my footing. In that time the train had past. I felt myself falling back and desperately clung onto the side of the bridge. Chris was now by Casey's side. They both reached down and grabbed one of my arms, pulling me back on to the bridge.

"Fuck you Casey, fuck you" I said, getting off the bridge to walk away. Chris grabbed my arm to stop me leaving.

"Alice what the hell, you are not going to fucking do that, you understand me?" He said, pulling me into a hug.

"I can't do it anymore. You saw him in there, he doesn't love me after doing that. It's only to be expected, I'm always second best. I thought he was the exception, he was all I had and he's fucking snogging her. I'm done with fucking everything. I just want to die." I was having a full on panic attack, falling to the floor and sobbing into my knees. Casey and Chris knelt beside me, telling me that everything would be okay. I looked up to see Tom and Barclay walking towards us. I could see their mouths moving but couldn't hear what they were saying, all I could hear was a voice in my head telling me to die, that I was worthless and a piece of shit.

Casey and Chris stood up and so did I. We started to walk towards the car so I'm guessing we were going back home. I just wanted to be alone, I just wanted to be dead. In the car I laid down on Casey's lap and he began stroking my hair as tears still streamed down my face. I was saying something, I remember talking, but I have no idea what I was saying.

When we got home I ran straight upstairs telling the boys that I wanted to be alone. Where was Charlie and James and Jake? Oh god Jake, it was his birthday and everything was going wrong. Where was Reece, the backstabbing bastard? I couldn't get the image of him and Rebecca out of my mind, like it was burned in to my eyes.

I walked to the bathroom across from mine and Reece's bedroom. Whenever I thought about him my heart hurt. How could he do this? I don't care that he was drunk. It was her, Rebecca, the sly fucking asshole. Everyone was always happier without me there. It would be so much better for everyone if I was gone.

I rummaged in the cupboard until I found the packs of sleeping pills that were in there for some reason. I emptied some into my hand. There was quite a lot, they would do the trick. I place them in my mouth, swallowing one after the other after the other. After a while I began to feel dizzy, falling to the floor and knocking some of the contents of the cupboard on the floor. It made a load crash and I heard four pairs of feet running up the stairs as fast as they could. Oh no, they couldn't find me like this. Tom burst through the door with the other 3 behind him. He saw the empty pill packets on the floor.

"Call an ambulance now" He said and Chris ran downstairs to get his phone.

"Alice what have you done?" He sounded really sympathetic and came and sat next to me on the floor. "You can't do this, you can't leave us.". Barclay came and sat on the other side of me, taking my hand and squeezing it tight. I could hear Chris shouting down the phone at the person on the other end:

"ONE OF MY FRIENDS HAS TAKEN PILLS AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO SO JUST HURRY UP WITH THIS AMBULANCE PLEASE BECAUSE WE CAN'T LOSE HER!" He sounded so desperate, so worried. I didn't want this, I just wanted it all to end.

Casey went to phone the other boys and tell them to get back as soon as possible. "Jake please just get back here now, something's happened with Alice and she's taken pills and an ambulance is on its way but she doesn't look too good. Please just get home." I heard him saying, more tears running down my face with every word he said. I didn't want to leave the boys, I really didn't, I loved them all so much and I didn't want to do this to them. But I wanted to leave everything else in the world. I wondered if this is what Lewis thought in his last few minutes, regretting everything that ever happened and everything that you are going to leave behind. I couldn't stop it now, this was finally the end.

My head was spinning and I felt more sick than ever before. I couldn't physically move, I was just sat there. Tears finally stopped falling and my eyes closed, my head flopping on to Barclay's shoulder. I could hardly breathe now but managed to get out one last sentence.

"I'm sorry, please just tell him I'm sorry."