South park oneshots

Kenman - I want to marry the Princess

Request by Jamiezgay,  Sorry I know how much some of you hate Cartman ships 😅

" No I want to marry the princess!" Stan growled, holding the wooden sword towards Clyde. " NUH UH! IT'S MY TURN TO BE MARRIED!" Clyde yelled back, pushing his helmet further up and pouting when it slipped back over his eyes. " Enough! I am the grand wizard king and I say that the princess is mine!" Cartman stated, stepping between the two and Kenny. Kenny blushed slightly, twirling a strand of his wig between his fingers as he giggled cutely. The boys sighed audibly. " No fair. You always get to date Princess Kenny. No chicks wanna play stick of truth with us so he's the closest we have." Clyde groaned. " Plus if you squint you can almost forget that it's actually Kenny in that dress, and he kinda looks hot." Stan admitted, making Cartman scowl as he felt his face heat up. " KIND OF? KIND OF? PRINCESS KENNY IS THE HOTTEST PRINCESS IN ALL OF THE LAND AND I'LL BANISH ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE!" Cartman screeched, making everyone turn to look at him. " Dude chill out it's just a g-ga-ga-game" Jimmy said. " Why don't we ask the Princess what she wants for a change?" Token added, everyone looking at Kenny hopefully. Kenny smirked, taking the opportunity to flutter his eyelashes and look up thoughtfully, knowing that it made him look gorgeous and loving the attention he was receiving. He met Eric's eyes, grinning a little at the fear that he wouldn't be chosen hidden behind them. " Whoever can find me the prettiest flower can marry me" Kenny said in a high pitched voice, breaking down into a fit of giggles when he watched everyone scurry off desperately. He followed Cartman, placing a hand on his shoulder and kneeling down behind him. " Hey asshole" He whispered in his ear, before standing up and motioning towards the gate. " This way" He smirked, walking towards it, Eric following him with a confused expression. " Kenny where are we goi-" He began, before Kenny stopped, pointing at a daffodil that was growing from the floor. " My favorite flowers are daffodils" He whispered with a wink, smirking as he walked past Eric back into the garden. Cartman smiled, chuckling softly. He had almost been worried that he wasn't Kennys favorite for a second. He picked the flower,  walking back to the others and presenting it,  Kenny acting like he hadn't planned this. " A beautiful flower for a beautiful lady" He smiled,  placing a gentle kiss on Kennys hand. Kenny grinned,  blushing as he took the flower,  smelling it and sighing. Cartman suddenly felt his stomach flip as he watched the way the light was hitting Kenny right now,  making him look even more angelic than usual. His eyes glittered and he waved a hand in front of Cartman when he noticed him spacing out,  staring with his mouth wide open. " I UH..  I DONT WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE" Cartman spluttered suddenly,  running into his house and slamming the glass door behind him. The other boys eyes lit up as they turned to the princess,  realising that they had a chance now that Cartman was gone. " KENNY CAN I BE-" Clyde began,  before he was shooed away by Kenny,  who was just staring at the door in confusion,  not paying attention to anyone else. " I uh..  I have to go piss" Kenny lied,  his voice quiet as he walked into the house. As he shut the door behind him he heard the boys errupting into disappointed groans and he pulled his wig off,  running a hand through his real hair. He chewed his lip,  trying to think where Cartman might have gone. A door slamming upstairs told him the answer, following the noise to Cartmans room. " Eric w-" He began as he walked in,  stopping when he saw a lump on Cartmans bed,  hiding under the blanket. " Dude what are you doing? " He asked,  walking towards the frustrated sounding blob. " Go away" Cartman mumbled,  curling further into himself. " Cartman man" Kenny laughed, reaching out a hand and pulling the blanket away.  He froze when he saw how red Cartmans face was. " Why are you so r-" He asked. " THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! " Cartman yelled,  clearly trying to hide his embarrassment with anger. " What did I do? " Kenny frowned,  crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow when Cartman hesitated,  before turning away. " Seriously..  What did I do? " Kenny asked again,  this time softer and laced with genuine concern. Cartman groaned,  burying his face in his arms. He felt the bed dip next to him as Kenny sat down,  and decided on leaning his head on his friend rather than trying to get the words out that seemed impossible to say right now. " Whatever I did, I didn't mean to hurt you dude" Kenny promised,  wrapping an arm around his friend and frowning when he pulled away. " You're just making it worse" Cartman groaned as he flopped backwards. Kenny rubbed the back of his neck,  standing up. Maybe it was best if he left,  he just seemed to be hurting him more. " Kenny wait. " Cartman said suddenly,  making Kenny stop.  " It's just..  Im not used to caring about people. " He forced out,  making Kenny look at him confused. " And I..  I really care about you.  Like way too fucking much. And everytime I see you I feel like my heart is going to fucking explode.  And when you do things like look so fucking cute it..  It makes me go red and I can't think and..  And I'm scared.  I'm scared because I think that I'll do something dumb and you'll find out that I like you.  But not like as in how I like cheesy poofs.  Like as in how..  As in how Tweek and Craig like eachother. " Cartman finished,  his face still hidden by his arm but Kenny could see that his blush was darker than a tomato. " You..  You like like me?  Cartman you know im a dude right. " Kenny frowned,  making Cartman scrunch up his face as Kennys words stabbed through his heart. Eric sniffled as tears pricked at his eyes. " Oh.. " Kennys eyes widened as he realised. " You're..  Gay? " Kenny asked,  mentally kicking himself at how eager the words sounded from his mouth. Cartman didn't respond verbally,  but nodded,  figuring that he had already exposed himself enough, why not say everything. " I uh..  Me too" Kenny chewed his lip as he shuffled his feet nervously. " Well im pan bu-" " No shit" Cartman teased,  chuckling lightly through his tears. " Shut up fatass" Kenny grinned, sitting back down and punching his friend lightly on the shoulder. " So,  you like me huh? " Kenny smirked,  his usual confidence coming back now that Eric seemed to be cheering up. Cartman wiped his eyes,  sniffing as he nodded.  Fuck it felt good to admit it.  He had been trying to push it down for so long and now that he didn't have to it felt like he could finally breathe. " I like you too" Kenny grinned. " Shut up" Cartman chuckled,  thinking that Kenny was mocking him.  He had to admit that it stung a little,  but he wasn't about to let that show. " No seriously! " Kenny insisted,  turning himself to face Cartman with his entire body. " I didn't say anything because I thought you still had a thing for Heidi! " He said honestly. " Dude don't fuck around with me" Cartman said,  unsure if Kenny was joking or not. " I'm not!  Look,  if I was fucking around would I do this? " Kenny persuaded him, grabbing his face and pulling him in for an unexpected kiss. When they pulled away,  Cartman stared at him open mouthed,  tracing his fingers over his lips where Kenny had kissed. " I uh..  I guess not. " Cartman realised. " Cool,  so we're boyfriends now right?  Im gonna go brag to Clyde seeya! " Kenny grinned,  blushing as he jumped up,  leaving the room. A smile spread across his face. Boyfriends?  Kenny ran back in, leaping on Eric and hugging him tightly. " Love you! " He smiled genuinely,  kissing Erics forehead before going back to tell Clyde like he had said he would.