This is just a collection of my thought I go threw everyday.
"I see the world and all the happy people around me and I think why can't that be me? All my life I was invisible or rejected and I slowly grew ok with that. I was ok with my mum hating me. I was ok with my dad hating me. I was ok with the abuse and the drugs and the fact that I was slowly killing myself. I was ok. I was ok cause I knew one day if I put my mind to it I could take my last breath and finally go home. Yet now here I am and every time I look at the knife I see his eyes. His eyes that haunt me,fill me and make me wanna smile and cry in pain. He was my love,my life, my king and now he's gone. I see him but I don't love him. I love this person who loves me back but not the way I love him, he loves me as a friend. A friend that's how he sees me. He texted me and told me he had feelings for another and not me and I lied and said good for you when in truth I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry cause he makes me smile,and giggle and makes my heart skip a beat. He makes me feel something for once in my life and brings color to my eyes, but now when he says I love you every night I fake a smile and say goodnight. What do I say when I'm saying goodbye? Do I say I love you with all my night and hope to god you stay and fight? Or do I say goodnight sleep tight see you when the stars are bright? I think not I think I shall shut my eyes and say goodnight.
