My Little Hatefuck

Distance

*Sam's P.O.V*

So after the whole incident with Ricky I've been trying to keep my distance. Not to hurt him, but to help him if that makes since. Well, its to keep myself from getting hurt. Every relationship you either breakup or get married. So far I'm not married and I doubt Ricky would ever in a million years propose. No man is that stupid to be willing to spend the rest of their life with my ass. So I was growing distant.

At the moment I'm just sitting in my bed. I wanted to text Ricky but there wasn't a point. I would get attached and then get hurt. I love him. I do. Its just I don't want to get heart broken. He probably already thinks I'm weak. I cried into his chest for like an hour.

My phone kept ringing. It was Ricky texting me.

(R, S)

"Hey."

"Are you ok?"

"I havn't heard from you since yesterday..."

"Your starting to worry me..."

"Saaaaammmmm!!!"

"Please answer."

"Pleeeeeaaaassseee!"

"I'm fine." I finally replied.

"Hey lets hang out. I need to talk to you about something..."

"K. Come over, I don't feel like changing. Oh and its just me so walk in when you get here."

He was going to break up with me. I don't want him to break up with me though! I love him! I start to hyperventilate and panic. Tears started to fall down my cheeks at the thought. I was curled up in a ball, trying to breath and bawling my eyes out. I shut my eye tight together, trying to calm myself. I fell off of the bed. I didn't even hear Ricky come in.

"Sam! Oh my god are you ok? Whats wrong?!" He immediately sat me on his lap and started whispering soothing things in my ear, I finally stopped crying but didn't move.

"So whats wrong? Why were you crying?" He asked.

"it was just a small panic attack. I'm fine." He picked me up and put me back on the bed.

"Why did you have a panic attack?" He asks softly while rubbing my back.

"I don't want to talk about it..."

"Please?" He said kissing my cheek.

"I thought you were going to break up with me. You said you wanted to talk... and usually when people say that it means that want to break up. So are you breaking up with me or not?" Tears started to build up in my eyes again.

"No! Of course not!" He hugged me tighter.

"Oh thank god..." I said with a sigh of relief.

"I just wanted to know why you've been so distant... You usually are texting me or hanging out with me and the past few days I'll be lucky is I can get a text, let alone to see you before or after your set. And even then you don't talk to me." You could see the pain in his eyes and it killed me.

"I-I... I'm sorry..." I say softly tears accumulating in my eyes.

"Don't cry. Its just, I... I worry about you." He said kissing my forehead. 

"Why?"

"I love you! Thats why!"

"I love you to."