The Lost Lycan Princess

Chapter 32 - Decisions

It took every ounce of energy to open my eyes. But once I managed to open them, they closed just as quickly. My body was drained from energy. All I wanted to do was sleep, to let the darkness overcome me once more. My mind was in a heap. So much thoughts and emotions were running through me, it was starting to be confusing. What happened to me?

Jackson.....Ashley.......running.......pain......Sam.......darkness.........

The events from yesterday flashed through my mind like lightening striking. Memories I didn't want to recall, appeared as clear as day before my eyes. Images of Ashley and him...

Even his name makes me shiver with disgust. The love I once felt for him was now beginning to be replaced by hatred. I hated him, hated what he did to me. But most of all, I hate myself for still loving him despite what he done.

I love everything. His rosy pink lips that I long to feel on mine everytime I look at them. Those strong arms that send warmth throughout my whole body everytime he embraces me. His ocean blue eyes that captivate me everytime I look in them......

But I hate now he makes me feel. Hate how with every touch I feel the fireworks spread throughout my body. Hate that everytime he looks at me, I feel as if my heart is ready to stop beating. Hate that despite what he done, I still want him.

I have to face the truth, I still want him. But I won't allow myself to feel that hurt again. I have to be strong. If not for my family, then for myself. If I meant anything to him, he wouldn't have run off to Ashley when things got rough. I take full responsibility of my actions, I should have told him. But he should take responsibility for his actions. And losing me.... well I guess that's the result of it.

My eyes finally opened after what felt like hours of trying. Looking around, I was in a familiar room but my mind was in too much of a maze to realize where. My head ached, my body hurt. I felt different but I wasn't sure if it was in a good way or not. Slowly I got into a sitting position. My clothes that were tattered and ripped from before I blanked out was left in a bundle beside the bed. In there replacement, a white dressing gown now hung loosely around my body. Checking the time on the clock that was on the night stand beside the bed, it ready 1pm. How long was I out for? Surly it had just been  few hours since I passed out but I wasn't sure.

Taking a glass of water they was beside the clock, I gulped it all down in one go. The coldness cooled the burning in my throat and got rid of the dryness that was there. With shaking hands, I slowly pulled back the covers and began to get out of the bed. Just as I was sitting in the edge of the mattress, voices from the hallway got my attention.

"She should have woken up by now" the familiar voice of my best friend echoed closer to the door as the doorknob turned. Kiera walked in first, peeping behind the door until she spotted me. A large smile made it way on her face as she opened the door fully and walked in. Following her was Sam, Alec, Zack, Seth and Jacob.

"Hey kitten, how you feeling?" Sam asked kneeling before me with caring eyes.

"Like shit" I answered with a slight laugh. The boys chuckled lightly and Keira grinned at my reaction. Now was my chance to get answers. It now or never, right?

"What happened last night?" I asked looking down at the floor. I was nervous to hear the answer. After a moment of silence, I looked but at the faces around me, still playing with my fingers which was a nervous habit I had.

"Mmm....how much do you remember?" Alec asked. Something was wrong, I could feel it. But I wasn't sure if I wanted to know.

"Nothing much" I lied. "I remember being in pain and then passing out". I didn't completely lie, just didn't tell the full truth. I remembered everything. Too much for my own good. Things I wish I would never remember.