Don't fall asleep (MewGulf) Completed

1

GULF's POV

Are you sure?

You want to hear my story?

You can back out now. You're not in Disney, where they always live happily ever after.

Life is like a rollercoaster.

I was a normal boy, yes I am.
You can say that I'm a loner. An introvert. I'm not one to initiate a talk.

Not until I met him 5 years ago. My bestfriend.

He was always rainbow and sunshine. I'm always smiling whenever we're together. Just like now.

Sun rays reflecting on his skin, adding light to the sunshine that he is. He's laughing, enjoying the moment, playing with his team.

He's the captain. The star player. The ace. Everyone adores him. Even an angel to some.

I'm here at the highest part of the bleachers, watching him. There's a big match coming, but he always make time so we can bond from time to time. We promised to eat out after his practice.

Since I'm quite bored, do you want to hear my secret?

But you probably know it. It's a cliche scene, falling in love with your bestfriend. Yes I love him. Exactly 3 years and counting, haha I don't know. Should I confess? Or not? You tell me.

Maybe I should tell him? But I'm afraid, who doesn't?

I'm a man having feelings with another man. Everyone will judge.

What if he hate people like me? What if he won't accept me? I'd rather hide it so I can love him secretly. That way he'll stay by my side. I'll just hold on to my motto. "Call me friend but keep me closer"

"Bro! Let's go!" He shouted while running to the bleachers where I'm sitting alone.

"I didn't even notice you." I'm so lost in my thought. I've been in a conflict with my mind recently. My heart tells me to confess but I can't I'm a coward.

He put his arm around me and we walked to my car. It's always like this. Me waiting after his practice match, I like it. It's like we're in some kind of a relationship.

We decided to eat Japanese cuisine. He loves sushi. I don't eat raw foods, but he doesn't know it. He doesn't notice. He never notice anything about me.

Just like the other day, I asked him to give me his jersey so I can wear it. Instead, he gave me a new one. I was lowkey pissed that day. I just want to feel like his mine, even for a day. Haha I feel like a side chick, begging for something that isn't mine.

"Do you want to go elsewhere after? He asked. Interrupting my thoughts.

" No. You're tired bro. I'll give you a ride home. You should rest. You're training the whole day tommorow right?"

" Are you sure?" I want to have a walk in the park but he's really tired. I can see it in his eyes. Yes Im fuckingly whipped. I can see through him.
"Of course, lets go!"

I dropped him off, then I go straight to the playground near my house. Im feeling dejected this past few days, I want someone to talk to, so I dialled Saint's number.

"Hey uhm Saint I'm here at the park bro-"

" I'll go there, see you!" I didn't even finish my words.

He's one of my friend. Not originally, because he's Mew's teammate. He and his boyfriend are the ones who listen to me. They know about my feelings. They're encouraging me to own up about my feelings, but I really can't.

"Hey bro what's up!" Tapping my shoulder.

" We eat on that Japanese resto again. Maybe he really thinks of me as a friend. I should give up bro. But don't worry. I'll move on. I just need some time.

"Imagine yourself being away from him even for a day, can you do it? I stop swinging and think about the consequences.

It's hard, we've been together for 5 years. He's always there for me. Because he says that I looked suicidal. He's afraid I'll just jump off a bridge or run on a highway. Yeah! He's dramatic.

"Yes, can you help me? Don't let him see me. Keep him away from me." He furrows his eyebrows.

" I can't promise you this bro, but I'll try. I will also ask Zee to help me. But the game is on Saturday, you're not coming?" Oh shoot. I totally forgot about it.

" I will don't worry. Thanks bro, you can go. Sorry for always venting my issues on you."

" Nevermind! Just call me. You're my friend now. Don't stay here for too long. You'll catch a cold."

" Take care bro"

I stay there for 20 more minutes, reminiscing about the days before I met him. I changed a lot.

I can now talk to someone without being shy. I know a lot of people because of him, he introduced me to every person that he knows.

He helped me step out of my comfort zone. That there's so much more I can do out there.

I became a varsity player, with his help too. I owe him a lot, maybe just maybe, that's the reason I fall for him. I see him as someone I can depend on. I want to know myself, without his help. So I can prepare my heart if that time comes.