On the bog, I'm sadly sitting
Haemorrhagically I'm shitting!
My ass, it feels like its on fire
The situation's pretty dire
That korma I had for my tea
Has very quickly come through me
Oh why oh why was I so dumb?
To think this moment mightn't come?
The spasmodic movements of my bowels
I fear may keep me here for hours
I swear I'll never eat again
This misery is inhumane.
