Haikyuu oneshots (mixed ships)

KuroKen - wrong number 4/??

art by "frotheries" on instagram

bokuto
ya it's bokuto
hi kenma what did you want to as me

kenma
are you with kuroo

bokuto
no he left a while ago
but he was here last night

kenma
ya... i know

bokuto
how'd you know?

kenma
he called me

bokuto
ah shit what the fuck did he say

kenma
first you have to promise not to tell kuroo

bokuto
ahhh i hate lying to my best friend
but fine i won't tell promise

kenma
he said he likes me
like *likes* me
but he was pretty shitfaced
do you know if that's true?

bokuto
do you like him?

kenma
you answer mine first

bokuto
no you answer mine first or else i'm not answering at all

kenma
fine
ya i like him
like a lot

bokuto
OMG THATS SO EXCITING
MY BEST BROS GONNA GET A BOYFRIEND THEN WE CAN ALL GO ON DUBBLE DATES

kenma
wait is that a yes
also no not boyfriend
we haven't even met in person and we've only called once but i don't think that counts

bokuto
first of all that's a yes he does like you
also how have you guys not called before you've been talking for like a month and a half
(ahaha ya surprise they've been talking for a while)
(my story i do what i wwwwant)
also also you should meet in person

kenma
idk i can be anxious in person and i'm not much better over the phone

bokuto
fine then start with phone calls then meet in person then KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE

kenma
i see why you and kuroo are friends

bokuto
thank you!

kenma
that wasn't a compliment
but talk to you later maybe

bokuto
i think it was a compliment
also byyyyyeeee

————-

kitten
so how's your hang over

kuroo
first of all it's absolutely terible
i drank like half a bottle of vodka and no water
what was i thinking!!
second of all how'd you even know i was drunk

kitten
didn't you see our texts from last night?

kuroo
no i don't see anything

kitten
HAHA you must have deleted them thinking i would loose them too

kuroo
WAIT WHAT
WHAT DID I SAY

READ

KITTEN YOU HAVE TO ANSWER

(ya kenma's 'bouta lie through his teeth but it's fine because he tells him later)
(disclaimer lying is bad in almost every case especially if it's to a significant other)

kitten
you sure you want to know

kuroo
YES

kitten
you sent a bunch of videos of you "dancing" to random pop songs
they were hilarious

kuroo
AHHFNSKDJSJCNSJDIDHSHSJDN
DELETE THEM

kitten
what and get rid of all this blackmail???
no way

kuroo
pls kitten
for me 🥺

kitten
oh fine but only if we can start facetiming more

kuroo
well of course anything you want kitten
but also
wait WAIT W A I T
do you actually WANT to facetime MEEE

kitten
ya is that such a surprise
also you called me last night and it was actually kinda fun

kuroo
WAIT I CALLED YOU
WHAT THE HELL DID I SAY

kitten
that's a secret between topless drunk you and sober fully clothed me

kuroo
I WAS TOPLESS

kitten
yup
and in most of the videos you sent
which have now been deleted

kuroo
oh dear lord maybe i didn't want to know

kitten
anyway i've gtg my moms having people over for like a weird lunch thing

kuroo
ok enjoy your weird lunch thing

kitten
i won't :))
———————
word count: 595
⚠️seriously pls read this bc it's hilarious⚠️
BOY OH BOY do i have a story to tell...

so my friend let's call them sam got this random text, a wrong number kinda situation (that's not what this is based off but i think it's such a funny coincidence) let's call the guy who texted sam TIM this is the kinda thing i've been waiting for my whole life so naturally i was ECSTATIC

but anyway based on the texts we know that TIM thinks my friend sam is named mike, we also think that TIM and mike had a one night stand and mike gave TIM the wrong number on purpose, TIM has a girlfriend of two years and i'm pretty sure he's in the closet and this poor women is just for him to seem straight... that is the only thing we could come up with... if you would be interested i could post the screenshots and you could theories... this is honestly some fanfic level shit

until next time lovelies 💐💐
and remember to be nice to others