Jones' Tell All

The Ugly Truth

I'm not gonna lie. This book might not be pretty, but I'm a pretty straightforward guy. I don't sugarcoat shit, I just say it. If you have a problem with it, don't bother reading this book.

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Ok let's start with school.

My primary (or elementary for you Americans) school experience was pretty sucky. I moved a lot as a child. I started out in Manchester before moving to London and then Liverpool. I had a couple to a few years in each place and I was a pretty shy kid.

I didn't make easy friends. My closest friend was Brian (BTW for safety and privacy reasons I will NOT be divulging anyone's actual name) but when I moved, I had to leave him. We played FIFA, got in trouble, smoked, and drank together. We hooked each other up with people. We met when we were 16 and we were closer than brothers.

I moved to the States when I was 18 to attend university leaving behind Brian. He was planning on joining me, but passed away after being hit by a car.

School overall sucked for me. I never had a girlfriend, I had a couple of friends at each school, I hated the teachers. The worst part? Every school my parents sent me to was a private school, which meant uniforms, girls in plaid skits, blazers, and ties.

I always got in trouble for not wearing a tie, not having my blazer, having my shirt untucked, no belt. I didn't really care. I hated school and didn't want to be there. I was suspended for graffitiing the walls at school once. It was pretty bad what I did, but the school didn't "believe in expulsion of students." Which was total bullshit by the way. It was ridiculous, I should've been expelled.

"FUCK ALL YOU CUNTS I HATE YOU"
"THIS FUCKING SCHOOL SUCKS DICK"
"I'D NEVER SEND MY KIDS TO THIS HELLHOLE"

That's just a few of the things I wrote on the wall. I also may or may not have drawn a dick on the principal's portrait. Like I said, I didn't want to be there.

My parents eventually homeschooled me, but I scared off just about every tutor, except for one I actually liked.

I was 17 and my parents had just hired the smartest tutor in town who happened to only be 20 years old. I thought she was cute.

Her eyes were the most gorgeous shade of brown. Not many people think brown is pretty, but she pulled it off. She always wore a mini skirt and a blouse that had the top couple of buttons undone.

She made advances on me and eventually, I took my chance. We had a fling until that summer. Then she went back to the States to her husband. Yeah that's right. I had an affair with a married woman, completely unaware.

I now attend university at University of Miami in Florida. It is fantastic and I love it. I drive to FAU almost every weekend to visit my girlfriend, who attends school there.

That's all for now.

Peace out my lovelies. You are all adorable.

xxx Eric

P.S. Check out my new Insta EricJones1994