Hypnotised by drums (TW fanfic - Book 2/4)

Part Nineteen

Siva’s POV

I open my eyes slowly and as I look around the room, I suddenly remember everything that happened yesterday. I just wish people would respect my decision. I know Jay just wants to help me, but what he doesn’t realise is that I don’t want him to save me, I don’t want to be here anymore and I’m pretty sure nothing will help me through this. I just can’t see my life without Claire and I can’t see a future with her. What am I supposed to do? I can’t stay here and have my heart shattered and I can’t leave her. I can’t live my life on my own. I need her. I love her. I slowly sit up and then I realise that Jay is asleep on the chair next to me. Maybe if I can sneak out, I will be able to end it without him stopping me this time. I climb out of bed and then I make my way out of the room. When I get out of my hospital room, I notice that there are doctors and nurses everywhere.

“Siva” I hear a nurse call to me, before she rushes over to me.

“Yes?” I ask her.

“We’ve done our observations and I was just about to come in to see you. You seem like you’ve recovered and you’ve been discharged. I just need you to sign this paperwork before you leave” she tells me, before handing me a clip board. I take the pen out of her hand, before quickly signing the piece of paper. I then make my way towards the stairs. When I get to the top, I find myself on the roof. This is it. No one can stop me now, because no one knows I’m here and there is no surviving this. Then I’ll be free. I walk over to the edge of the roof, where I look down at the people passing by. They all look so innocent, when in reality nothing is innocent. Everything in this world is evil and I don’t want to live among these animals anymore.

Jay’s POV

I wake up to find Siva gone. I look around the room and he’s no where to be seen. I then make my way out of the hospital room and into the corridor. Still nothing. I then notice Siva’s nurse behind the desk. I run over to her and throw my hands down on the desk in front of me.

“Can I help you?” another nurse asks me.

“Where’s Siva?” I ask them in a panic.

“Jay? Your brother was discharged this morning” Siva’s nurse tells me.

“But he couldn’t have. Someone would have told me. I was in the room all night” I tell her, in disbelief.

“I know. He was about to leave when I caught him. Look he signed the paper work” she tells me, as she puts a piece of signed paper on the desk in front of me.

“Jay?” she calls after me, but I choose to ignore her. If I hurry, I might be able to catch him. When I finally get out of the building, I look around in the hope that I might see him. There are people everywhere.

“Has anyone seen a man with black hair, he looks about twenty, he has really good cheek bones and he has brown skin?” I say, looking around the house in the hope that someone might know something.

“Erm” someone says, I look round and he points up to the roof. I look up and there I see Siva standing on the edge of the roof, looking down.

“Oh shit! Siva, no!” I scream at the top of my voice, but even I know he won’t hear me. I run back into the building. I go straight to the lift and I make my way up to the top floor. I then get out and run up the stairs to the roof.

I soon find myself on the roof, looking at Siva’s back. I freeze for a second. I have to be really careful now. If I say the wrong thing, he could jump and I won’t even be able to stop him.

“Siva” I say, nervously.

“Go away. Just let me do this. I don’t want to live anymore, why can’t you accept that?” he asks me, and I can hear that he’s crying.

“Because you’ve got so much to live for. You don’t need to let her ruin your life” I tell him, without moving.

“I can’t live without her” he says.

“Yes you can. There are plenty of other girls out there that will love you no matter what. You don’t need Claire, she’s not good enough for you anyway” I tell him.

“But she’s everything I’ve ever wanted” he tells me.

“I know, but we can get through this, I promise. Things can get better”

“No they can’t and the only reason you’re here is because you don’t want the band to break up. That’s all this boils down to. No one really cares about me, it’s just about the band” he sobs.

“No it’s not. Listen if you come down, I can help you through this. The band can on a break for a while, if that’s what you want. I don’t even care about that. All I care about is you. You’re my best friend” I tell him, as I slowly walk over to him.

“Really?” he asks me, as he looks at me. I’m now standing on the edge of the roof next to him.

“Of course” I tell him, with a smile. He then takes a step back and I turn around to look at him, he looks a mess and I feel so bad for him. How could Claire push him to this? He puts his head in his hands and I can tell that he’s crying. I then walk over to him and wrap my arms around him. He needs me more than ever now and I know that if anyone can help him, it’s me. I’ve been in a bad place too and got involved in stuff I shouldn’t have. I just don’t want to see him giving up on himself. He then hugs me back and I can feel him crying onto my shoulder. He’s going through so much and I can tell that he’s on the verge of going insane. I just need to keep him sane. It might bee hard, but I’m not giving up on him.