All the Lies

1} 'We were gonna go to Paris'

{{{{{ Brad }}}}}

As I sit in this familiar café, the memories come flooding back. The early morning breakfast stops, the mid-day coffee breaks, the occasional dine-in dinner.

I remember the things we would do together. Surprise day-trips, taking Jesse for walks in the park, hanging out with the guys, and even the simple act of holding hands in public.

She never got jealous if fans interrupted us for photos or autographs. She was sweet, understanding, and amazing. How did I let her slip away?

I remember the promises we made. I promised her that one day, I would take her to Paris. She had been telling me about it for a long time. And I figured that, since it is the city of love, after all, that I would take her there for a romantic getaway, just the two of us.

But it never happened. And in the next 5 hours, I'm leaving for Paris. Without her.

The boys have noticed something is up. They notice how I get jealous and leave the room when they are with their partners. It's not that I don't like them - I really do - but this uncontrollable monster is growing inside me. And I have no clue how to stop it.

They notice how I have been burying myself in my work - how I'm never home before 1am and then I'm already gone again by 5.

They notice how I'm not myself. I'm not the same without her. She changed me. For the better. And now I'm an emotional wreck.

I look at pictures and reminisce on the good times. Our first kiss. Meeting the parents. Making 'it' public. But the part that hurt the most, was the goodbye kiss. It's still a fresh wound. But the boys have been my rock, and I can't thank them enough for supporting me, through the good times and the bad.

Thank you.

Alice - she changed me in many ways. She changed my attitude. The way I think. The way I act. She impacted majorly. 

I remember when she smiled. Her eyes would crinkle slightly at the corners.  She had cute little dimples. Large, sparkling, emerald eyes, full of knowledge and wonder. A cute little button nose. Perfect pink lips and her little cupid's bow. Her long, wavy auburn hair. She couldn't get any more perfect.

Damn.

We were going to start a family together. We were going to have a son and a daughter. We even planned the names! We were going to have Marissa for a girl, and Mason for a boy.

We were going to get a Golden Retriever, and name him Ralph. And a black and white cat, who we'd name Spud.

We planned ahead, but little did we know what was to come.

I messed up.

But now there's no going back.

Paris, look out, 'cos here I come.

Phew! That was hard to write! Hope ur enjoying so far!

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Lots of love from

Ava xoxo ❤💕😘

Peace out! ✌😎