Love Stories Between Michael Mell and Jeremy Heere

Jeremy was a cute dolphin

Michael Mell was thinking about Jeremy Heere again. Jeremy was a cute dolphin with dirty eyelashes and sloppy abs.

Michael walked over to the window and reflected on his sunny surroundings. He had always hated noisy New Jersey with its barbecued, bulbous beaches. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel jumpy.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a cute figure of Jeremy Heere.

Michael gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a creepy, cowardly, beer drinker with handsome eyelashes and wide abs. His friends saw him as a melted, manky monster. Once, he had even rescued a stingy blind person from a burning building.

But not even a creepy person who had once rescued a stingy blind person from a burning building, was prepared for what Jeremy had in store today.

The rain hammered like chatting goldfish, making Michael irritable. Michael grabbed a spotty ruler that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Michael stepped outside and Jeremy came closer, he could see the comfortable glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want Internet access," Jeremy bellowed, in a witty tone. He slammed his fist against Michael's chest, with the force of 4729 snakes. "I frigging hate you, Michael Mell."

Michael looked back, even more irritable and still fingering the spotty ruler. "Jeremy, let's get married," he replied.

They looked at each other with confident feelings, like two regurgitated, real rats thinking at a very gracious funeral, which had classical music playing in the background and two thoughtless uncles partying to the beat.

Suddenly, Jeremy lunged forward and tried to punch Michael in the face. Quickly, Michael grabbed the spotty ruler and brought it down on Jeremy's skull.

Jeremy's dirty eyelashes trembled and his sloppy abs wobbled. He looked surprised, his body raw like a steamed, steep sandwich.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Jeremy Heere was dead.

Michael Mell went back inside and made himself a nice drink of beer.