Loving him is so wrong!

Chapter 50

Chandler
"What a surprise to see you!" My mom said as she hugged me tight. I haven't seen this woman in over a decade. Me and my dad got into a bad argument one day and I wouldn't apologize and I ignored every phone call ever since then. I couldn't talk to him then I don't know how I'm going to talk to him now. Shit I'm at a lost here but maybe my therapist is right and I'll start healing after this. Hopefully.
"I know. I know. I didn't know where else to go so I came here."
"Come on in. Chandler what's wrong dear?"
"Nothing. Just tired."
"How's Monica and the kids?"
"Well-" I was going to respond when I saw my dad walking into the foyer with a drink in his hand. Yup nothing has changed with him.
"Well I'll be damn! If it isn't my hot head of a child." My dad said pulling me into him for a hug. My dad was 72 years old 6'5, silver hair and beard, blue eyed fit for his age man. I pulled away from him and just stared at him. I look exactly like him from the hair down to the shoe size.
"So how is Monica? I miss my grand babies." My mom said
"Well we got a divorce and you have two new additional babies to love on now if you ever wanted to meet them." I said looking at my mother. I couldn't look my dad in the eyes it only makes me mad.
"Monica had two more babies?" My dad asked
"No. She had one of them but the other one is by my girlfriend Alana."
"Alana? Wait wait wait hold up.. Why do we know that name?" My mom said. She looked like she was thinking about where she heard that name from. I looked at them and just waited until one of them made the connection.
"You're not talking about Alonzo's daughter Alana?" My dad asked
"Well."
"You didn't!"
"Well..." I said looking down at my hands. Like a little boy knowing he's in trouble I wouldn't say anything about it. My mom walked up to me.
"Well? Is she the girlfriend." She asked holding my face.
"Yes." I finally said. My mom held her heart like she was going to faint and my dad shook his head at me disappointed. There we go with the dramatics. Patrica and James Carmichaels are the biggest drama people I knew. I rolled my eyes and walked to their kitchen ignoring the looks.
"I hope she was legal when y'all got together she's only what twenty now?" My dad said
"Yes she was." I said aggravated.
"What did Alonzo say about this?"
"He wasn't exactly happy."
"And your wife?" My dad drilled
"My ex and she wasn't to please either to realize I was cheating on her. But she cheated first with Levi!"
"Wow so you had to go and sleep with her! Didn't I teach you better than this!"
"Uh uh." I said dismissively. I walked around the kitchen to find some type of liquor to only find wine. I guess that'll do. My dad was on my trail he was mad at me I guess.
"Talk to me boy!"
"Leave me the hell alone! Me and Alonzo are still cool." I said drinking my wine.
"Disgrace. You are a screw up of a man! I thought I taught you how to keep your home in order." My dad said
"YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO MAKE THE PEOPLE I LOVE FEAR ME!!" I yelled at my dad. I threw the glass I had at the wall. I didn't have time for this I can't talk to him without arguing. I walked out of the kitchen and towards the door and heard my mom heels clacking behind me.
"Chandler! Chandler! Calm down please! It's been years since I've seen you please. Don't leave! Let's all talk about this without yelling please!" My mom said looking from me to my dad. I stoped and looked at how my mom was with my dad and it was like watching me and Alana when she's trying to make me keep my cool. It was weird...I looked at my dad and just brushed past him. I felt my heart racing and the voices telling me to lash out and fight. I sat down on their couch and folded my arms cross pouting. Maybe this was a mistake coming here! We sat in silence for about ten minutes before my mom said something.
"Do you have pictures?" My mom asked
"Yeah here." I said handing my mom phone. She sat next to my dad and scrolled through the videos of Avery and Mariah.
"They're the same age?"
"Yeah. Mariah is a little over one now and Avery will be nine months soon. Alana is also pregnant again."
My dad exhaled and rubbed his face quietly laughing at the information. My mom tried to get him to stop laughing but it was no use. My dad was disappointed in me and the more I sat here the more I didn't give a shit about how he felt about me.
"What the fuck is so funny?" I asked
"You! How could you possibly be okay with what you done?"
"The same way you are I guess." I said
"What do you mean by that?" My mom asked
"Dad how could you be okay with hitting mom and then covering it up?" I asked
"He's never hit me!"
"Ma save it for someone who don't know you. I knew it Nathan new it shit even Ryan clueless ass knew it."
"Y'all dont know a damn thing about what happens between me and my wife!"
"Yes we do! "If you want them to listen you gotta discipline!" What else does that mean! You hit mom and then embedded it in our head that everything he did was okay and it fucking screwed me up!"
"I don't know what you're talking about!" My dad said shaking his head at me. My mom has a look of guilt on her face and my dad wasn't budging. He doesn't want to admit the abuse he caused her.
"Do you love him or are you scared to leave?" I asked my mom
"The fuck are you trying to say Chandler?" My mom asked
"Do you know how fucked up your husband made me? Do you know that I had beat the woman that I love and almost made her miscarry with Avery? Do you know that I put her in the hospital because I couldn't control my anger because dad always said it was good to be angry? It controlled women and that I had the power to make women do what I wanted if I slapped them around! Do you know that I almost killed her again two nights ago because I don't know how to talk without using my hands!" I yelled "and it's all because of that fuck sitting over there ma! I'm mentally fucked because of him! I heard y'all growing up I could hear the screaming and crying but you said nothing happened so who am I to say it did? I'm fucked because I thought the way to show love was to hit and make up for it later! I could lose the love of my life because I'm scared that I'm going to fucking kill her and my baby if I go home mom! And you want to sit here and act like your husband didn't fuck me up!" I said
My dad sat back and digested my crazy rant. This isn't how I wanted to get it out but it's out and it's about time I did though. I couldn't hold it in anymore and it was killing me on the inside. My mom started crying and my dad got up to comfort her.
"So what you're trying to say is that we're bad parents?" My dad asked
"Fuck! Do you not get it are you refusing to get it? Dad you don't see how you're wrong in this do you? Of course you don't. Well dad I'm telling you that you made me abusive."
"I didn't make you abusive I made you a man!"
"What man talks with their fist to women smaller than him? That's coward shit!" I yelled
"Watch you fucking mouth in my house!" My dad yelled
"Or what? Fuck you!"
"Chandler honey calm down. It's been a decade since I last seen you can we all just calm down and talk.." my mom said coming up to me.
"I'm good on that. I'm just going to go back to my hotel." I said to her as I kissed her cheek
"So you're running away from this like a fucking coward too!" My dad taunted.
"James!" My mom yelled
I turned around and looked at him. I know what he's trying to do. He wants to see me angry he wants me to fight with him. He's been doing this shit since I was younger. Always forcing me to be angry so he could fight me and then kicked me out. Levi and Alonzo had let me live with them so many times growing up.
"Fuck you say to me?"
"Chandler don't! James leave him alone!" My mom said
"Move mama." I said to her
I got in my fathers face and just looked at him. It's not even worth it he's damn near dead anyways. Closure doesn't have to mean all is good between the two parties. I just shook my head at him he's fucking pathetic and I'll be damn if I become so miserable in my old age.
"It was nice seeing you ma. And dad fuck you I'll see you at your funeral."
"Chandler Owen Carmichaels! Have you lost your fucking mind apologize to your father now!"
"Im not doing that. He started it! How bout you tell him to apologize to me oh wait you won't ever hold him accountable to nothing. My bad I forgot!" I said
"That's enough! You not going to talk down on me in my own home! You better apologize or leave" my dad said pointing to the door. And my mom was just standing there behind him silently disagreeing but of course she would never speak up against him ever.
"I'm out of here fuck you dad! Mom i love you."
"Out of all four of my kids you have to be the one I despise the most." My dad said
"Like I give a shit how you feel about me! And you only got three kids you fucking idiot!"
"No I have four and even the one I barely raised turned out better than you."
"What fourth child did you have?" I asked
"James he said he was going to tell Chandler on his own time. You should let him."
"Sash up Pat! Levi is also my son and sometimes I wished you wasn't my son." My dad said
I looked from my mom to my dad and again and again. I bust out laughing and thought back to all the times we were kids. My dad did always make sure that Levi and his mom was straight. My dad owned two construction companies and inherited an oil company from my grandfather so he always had money. Levi wasn't rich like me but he lived comfortably which I thought was strange. His mom barely worked but always had money and now I know why. He was always around for holidays as well because my dad had to have him over. Makes so much more sense now I mean of course I didn't mind at all. So I also got the cheating gene from him too. My mom walked up to me and still trying  to get me to stay. I ignored her and looked at my dad.
"Does Levi know?"
"Yeah."
"And no one wanted to say anything about him being my brother." I said
"Levi wanted to tell you honey but he didn't know how." My mom said
"Wow." I said nodding. Well that means my dad has been sleeping with Levi's mom around the same time he was sleeping with my mom. Me and Levi are only two months apart literally. Okay then people always said we looked alike and I never saw it.
"Chandler please stay. I want you here I would like to talk some more my mom said to me. I'll cook your favorite"
I smiled down at her and hugged her real tight. My dad and I made eye contact and he rolled his eyes at me. Fuck I never hated someone so much in my life. For my mom I'll stay.  I don't know why but even with the bullshit and arguing I feel a little better. It's weird but it's a start I guess. Just work on yourself Chandler and you'll be home with the love of your life in no time. I walked into the kitchen behind my mom and sat down. She had a sandwich on the plate and gave it to me. My dad walked into the kitchen and sat next to me. Nothing was said between us and I was definitely okay with that.
"So tell us how did you and Alana started up."
My face lit up as I started telling them everything about her and everything. My mom agreed to come back to properly introduced herself to Alana again and of course my dad has to come... Sadly.