Broken Beyond Repair

Chapter XI: Desires and Downfalls

~Recap~

I hobbled into a big room full of table-like beds lying low to the floor. A man walked past me.

Wait. It couldn't be. Damien? I turned around to confirm my suspicions. They were gone as fast as they'd come. I kept rehearsing the line in my head: It could not be him. It's impossible.

I sat there lying awake in the bed for quite awhile until sleep came to me. It wasn't comfy in any manner, but tonight it felt like a king's bed.

~~~~~~~

I awoke at the sound of people moving around. Many of the others were getting up for breakfast. My stomach made a low growling noise. I was hungry, but I was so comfortable.

After a few minutes of debating with myself, I choose food over comfort. The dining hall was lined with food stations with attendants. I could smell bacon, eggs, pancakes, and so much more. My mouth was watering as I waited for my turn.

Breakfast was uneventful, and I made my way out of the homeless shelter to the bus stop. There was a man laying on the bench. Maybe he was some drunk that got wasted? I was heading over there anyway so might as well check it out.

Finally I stood at the stop waiting for the next bus. The man looked drained, beaten, and extremely worn out. I stepped closer to the man. His black, soft was covering most of his face. Gently, I swept the hair out of his face.

I leaned in to get a better look. My reflexes were too fast causing me to jump far away from the man.

No. No. No! What? Why-Why is Damien here?

I stood a few feet away from the bench just staring. I wanted to get away from this man. I killed this man. But now he shows up here. Right outside of the homeless shelter.

Crap. I laughed a bit at my failure. The man I might have feelings for, who kidnapped me is here right now. He's probably seen the letter too. My hysterical laughing slowly morphed into tears. Each breath allows more tears to flow freely.

My surroundings blurred, the people staring and watching didn't matter. It was just Damien and I. Standing there. Well maybe this is a sign. I have nothing else to live for. Just this man that my life seems so attached too.

Jessie doesn't give a shit whether I live or die, and my landlord kicked me out, so what else do I have.

I used my hand to wipe the tears from my face. When I looked back up Damien was right in front of me. We locked eyes. I didn't know what he was thinking, I didn't even know what to think.

Damien grabbed my wrists softly, slowly making his way to my limb hand. He was so warm. Every bone in my body wanted to give him a warm embrace, but I  still couldn't. I froze, my heart growing louder every second.

He brought my hands down with his, revealing my tear stained face. His lips looked so soft.

Wait. Why was I thinking about that? Damien probably hates me. "Sophia," Damien called out.

My heart melted at his words. My name coming off his tongue was a sweet sensation to my ears. I loved him. I did, truly love him.

I couldn't take the tension anymore. I needed to do something. I-I needed to kiss him. My head was running wild. My hands were starting to shake. Why is this so hard for me?

I ran. Damien let go of my hands, and I ran. Down the street across the road far away. I wasn't even thinking about it. My feet traveled as fast as they could. Why was I running? I wanted to be in Damien's arms to feel safe and cared for. But I knew that life isn't all it's made out to be.

Damien was a complicated man. He had lots of problems that affected me heavily. Maybe the fear of living with pain of abuse and for someone I love was why I ran. But I did.

~Damien's Perspective~

Her small hands fit perfectly in mine. Sophia is truly stunning. All I wanted to do was focus on her, but my head was still throbbing from yesterday. The vase being violently thrown at my head replayed in my mind.

A bit of disdain arose to the surface. The grip on her hands became tighter. I could break her fucking hands right now. My body heat started to increase. She abandoned me and left me to die. I should kill her right here, but I love her.

Killing Sophia is my ultimate desire and demise.

I wanted to do both. I wanted to see the life drain from her broken and bruised body. But another part of me just wants to feel love and affection again. To feel her body in mine.

I hated having these feelings. This lust for blood and violence.

Before I could say or do anything she ran. But what did I expect? I lost control once, I could do it again. I'm just a monster with no remorse or empathy.

But again I ran after her. The urge to be with her overtook me. Whether she loved me or not I had to talk to her. Abandonment was imminent, but I could face it now. The pain loss loomed over me. I never wanted to feel that again.

My blood was pumping as I sprinted after her. She was fast, but I couldn't lose sight of her. Sophia rounded a corner, disappearing into a crowd in the mall.

I used my rage to find Sophia. Now was not the time to throw a temper tantrum. I searched the whole mall. Looking through each store only to come up empty handed.

My legs were tired, and my headached. My body was giving out on me, but I still was nowhere close to finding her. I braced myself on my knees panting like a dog.

A few beads of sweat dripped into my eye. I wiped them away with my forearm. I lifted my already heavy head. There she was. Sophia sitting on a bench.

She looked as tired as I did. I sat down beside her hoping she wouldn't just get up and leave.

"Sophia. Please don't run away from me. Just let me say this one thing. I know I'm fucked up. And I'm a lost cause, but just consider coming back with me. I-I love you Sophia. Please," I needed to say this just so she could hear.

Please.

~Perspective Ends~

His words felt heavy in my chest. Damien wasn't forcing me to go back with him. He knew he messed up. Gosh I love him so much. He even admitted it. I don't know what to say!

Damien- Sophia, what's your choice?

His voice was ragged and coarse from chasing after me. Damien what should I do?

"Damien, I-"