It starts like any other day. I woke up. I breathe in and out. I look out the window to see the The Malarkey's house on fire... For the 7th time in a row. I went to going to go my uniform. Grab myself some Croc-Nuts and started to eat.
*Proceeded to crunch on some green Nuts* As I was eating my nuts, I here a knock on my door. *Knok KnoK Crack.*
"Who could that be?"
I walked to the door and opened it. To only see this.
"Hello sir. I'm your friendly Door-to-Door Hentai sales man." Said the door-to-door hentai sales man.
"Who Are...you?" I said.
The man was tall. Waring a business suit. Red tie. And an ear to ear smile.
"Oh, forgive my name's Dick." said Dick.
"Oh.....well. Wait.. Just Dick? No last name. No nothing just Dick...?"
"Yes" said Dick
"Well...i-"
(He cuts me off)
"Would you like big buns or big Tits?"
He said as he grabs two hentai comics.
"Uhh..... No thanks" I said slowly closing my door
"Ok. How bout ships?" He said
"Yeah. No" I said as I slowly closing my door.
"Wait! How bout... SnorLaxx X 3 Year old dancing Tommy?" He said.
"........i'm listening..."
*15 minutes later *
I arrive at my job "SubGay"
I just got done reading the hentai. And feel stressed relived. I got of my car and went in the building through the back as was getting the keys to get in the door. I see this man "doing it" with a corcadile. I protended to not see then walk right in to only see the oven is on fire. My partner James freaking out. The ice cream robots is spraying ice cream everywhere. And my friend Jack is in the corner, rocking back and forth. Screaming. And there is a crowd out said the door.
"Well...shot" I said
Hello I'm the author. Sorry for story so short. I had to do things with hands to help and my hands hurt. But be ready for part 2. UwU. Existing-
YOU ARE READING
The Incredible Florida Man!
Humorin the land of the most Weirdest state off all time. There lies a Hero. who is not known, and yet has been seen a thousand time. And hes name is... the average Joe... in a far below average Florida.
