My heartful wrenched "SSOME"

Episode 1: Who is at fault?

 So, I have a very strange feelings...over someone that only interact with me on social media. Can I call it love? Who knows..

I know.. it seems impossible. like.. social media interaction is the worse kind because you can't even see that person in real life. and if he (in my case, it's a HE) is real.

But yeah we kinda go on about that for almost 2 years before the HUGE FIGHT over something nonsense. Just because i post a sarcasm of him trying to prove that he's been on social media since xxxx year..when he actually just created it like idk..one or two years before.

So okay, this is really confusing, right? Let's call him,,L. Just because. no other reason.

So L post pictures of him with this certain date (some social media, you can edit the date to make it was there since idk dinosour age). So me, being me.. sarcastically wrote on my own wall, saying "Why would you do that when YOU AND ME know the truth. you aren't here three years ago. I am here for ten years already.. i know who is coming and out (kinda).

So L...i have no idea why, but he kinda read that statement..and was like.. obviously commenting under my status.. WHICH ME AT THAT TIME, WAS SUPER SCARED IF HE CURSED ME OR GETS ANGRY AT ME ETC.. SO I DIDNT READ THAT.. INSTEAD..I DELETED THE WHOLE THING. So yeah his LAST MESSAGE TO ME WAS NEVER READ. Pathetic me.. yes..

And me.. being hot-blooded young girl.. messaged him after he break our mutual on the social media.. i tell him "Thanks for everything. I'm sorry" and HE FUCKING READ IT. And BOOM! We're done, right?

NOT YET!

The drama has just begin. He..oh obviously ignore me when i commented under his best friends' posts. And i ignored him. Weird thing is.. he never blocked me. and me.. again, the foolish anger mode, while still loving him..of course i cant block him. And he decided he cant take it looking at me commenting under his friends' posts. so he DELETED his account for good. his other followers were left speachless. like yeah THANK YOU BITCH YOU MADE HIM DISAPPEAR FOR GOOD! Only that they dont know it was because of me.

He kinda go off for two weeks before re-creating a new one. Me, being close to his friends.. OF COURSE I WOULD KNOW COZ THEY MENTIONED HIM! Legitly, derh..L you are so dumb!

So i kinda NOT ADD HIM BACK...BUT i commented once under his post. saying "i miss you" kinda shit. (Oh i already realized how much i love him dont ask). but he kinda still mad at me. he thinks i dont believe he is real. Kinda. so he disable comment.. and then goes off again.. like delete the account again.

THINK IT'S OVER? OF COURSE NOT!

he kinda tried making a THIRD ONE after few months. this time i dont disturb him AT ALL. Idk why but that one was also deleted.. maybe he feels like.. there's no use anymore. or coz he can still see me. maybe. idk the reason, okay? you need to ask L himself.

and so...next part.. it's been almost a year of our fight. he is still not there. i start missing him.. i tell myself the first thing i will tell him is "I FUCKING LOVE YOU" to him. coz believe it or not, I never tell him those words. i was the only person he replies to whenever i commented under his posts...yet he sees all my posts.. and like..i know he knew me more than i thought he did. only that i realized it late.

so.. yeah..that's me feeling heartbroken over someone on socia media. our interactions are kinda normal but looking back.. they are special.. he RARELY replies to his followers EXCEPT ME. so it kinda.. you know.. people keep messaging me saying they are jealous. one time i reply to his follower's comment saying "oh that is so nice, when he see this he must like it" and HE FUCKING LIKE THAT PERSON'S COMMENT. Just because I SAID SO! LIKE WTF DUDE?! you dont have to...but he obviously read everything. I always tell him this- take care, WE love you. it means more like a fan, aint it? but then.. i never once confess to him.. coz i always thought we can be good friends.. just that.. but i really didnt realized how much my feelings are growing on him.

Yeah.. im idiot to know it now.. but yeah that's me and my pathetic life..

Thanks for reading...

~Shiteuk

~tbc on the next episode