Internal

Every morning , I get sick of waking up the same person the same body the same name , hoping , believing,thinking and broken.We as humans always seek for something unprecedented, something that can commutate our lives , but nothing ! Is it us who are unchangeable, satisfied ,convinced that we are righteous .
If you feel not okay , you'll just blame society,borders,world, everyone but not yourself.For me it's unlike,I upbraid myself ,my routine,my boring life , all of this boredom and routine came within several grounds , attitudes and behaviors of the environment around me but I blame myself for not changing it.However, I always ask for more that's why I always get disappointed , this urge of getting to discover to understand more and more.Because of the society borders people lost creativity and tolerance . So , being different is considered a crime nowadays , don't be creative , don't express your ideas, don't see life from your own specific angle , like they're trying to say don't be YOURSELF .Moreover, having limits for me will break me more and more and  threatens my mental stability, because I'm convinced that we were all created differently so each one of us should have his own way of looking into life.
In my journey I've been through enough, boys in my age are enjoying their lives to the fullest ,while I'm wandering here between the waves of life , from the outside I'm a good looking 19 years old boy with a snooty smile but indoorly Im someone who overthinks extravagantly,however,this overthinking shaped my worldview and my approach to life, I'm no longer that person with the boyish attitude I'm more calm and reasonable ,concerning the emotional portion I'm stable, I've been unbalanced regarding to some deleterious experiences because at some point each one of us have been under such circumstances , but most substantially we go back to the right channel.Growing up in this generation is intractable specially if you've determined to live up to yourself only like I did , regardless to all the odds that appeared along with time I managed to bounce , I'm more into seclusion now sometimes I lose the track of time listening to music gratifying my soul and get lost between the lyrics of ''in My Life'' by The Beatles , and gravitating to Agatha Christie's lines.Today I'm thrilled to read my hidden chapters out loud and I believe that cheerfulness comes by self-acceptance.
                                       The end.