The Dakota Diaries Part 1

Epilogue

______

Hi, My Name's Dakota. Dakota Willis that is. I never really imagined I would be writing in this little thing called a diary. There have been so many important times in my life..events that I had no one else to tell. There have been times in my life that many girls my age could scarcely imagine. These are the dakota diaries.

Chapter 1

_______

Wind blowing through my hair. My first peddle on my bike. A real first taste of the freedom life. I was a little girl..a little girl that was eight years old..with not much to worry about. More like sharing animal crackers in school or coloring in a princess coloring sheet. You would think So right..?

There go mommy and daddy screaming it up again. Daddy must have started and it will never end.

Mommy and daddy always argued with each other. Mommy said daddy was conceited and selfish. Daddy complained mommy was useless. I could never choose a side because I was not one for favoritism.

Day turned to night and night became day again. Every morning I would get up with a lack of energy.

When daddy had no one else to bicker at...I was his victim. The neighbors thought daddy was the nicest man on earth. They were wrong...very wrong.

He could buy me all the dollies he wanted...all the lollipops from the candy store. They could not cover up my bruises..or my heart. Not by a long shot could they cover anything. All the dolls, coloring books..none of it was enough. None of it..ever..helped.

Chapter 2

________

Black and blue..blue and black. Love is what daddy lacked. He didn't know one thing about love."Darling...Dear..all except..Dakota. A single tear streamed down my face that day. So came another followed by another. He told me..he told me that mommy said it was ok for him to touch me in the ways he did. Beat me as hard as he could. I knew it was not ok. I knew..but what could I do..?

I could not call him daddy anymore..

I could not call him anything but..Devil. Demonic thoughts ran through my head but I remained to be a child of god. Every night when he got home from work..I would be in my room..or maybe even watching out my window..watching the stars. He would pull me off the windowsill and act like everything was fine. I was not fine.

He put his fingers through my hair. When I reacted back in a way he disliked.. I would be beaten. Beaten of my independence, my dignity , my virginity.

He was not my daddy. He was not my family. He was what I knew as a monster. After that night..I was not Dakota Willis. I had no recollection of who I was. I was just an eight year old girl..I had no say in anything. If I said anything..who would take care of me..? Mommy worked until midnight. Which led me to my next horror.

It was two nights after he...touched me.

" Hello..?" He said with that grunt voice.

" Sir we are trying to reach Mr. Willis.."

" This is he.."

" Your wife has passed away..she was in a car accident and she lost too much blood."

When he began to weep..so did I. I weeped on the inside for my mother. I would never see her again. I was stuck with this monster of a father. I was stuck with no one. I say he was the cause of her death but I know he was not. I weeped without tears. I was made of silence.

When he tried to hug me , I pushed away. He had this confused look on his face. This look like I was the monster.

" You little witch..she's dead because of you..our life was perfect until you came along." He screamed.

When I trampled up the stairs to my room is when he realized that he had lost not only mommy..he lost..me.

Chapter 3

______

The next morning was not a morning at all. It was a..nothing. It seemed like silent hill. He..sat in his chair. I sat in despair. I sat on my bed weeping,thinking, thinking about how life had been so cruel. It was not life..it was him.

I was losing it..I was going insane. I still had a little sane left of me to show him..to show him how it was.

" You..did this" I said lowly but with darkness in my eyes

" I did nothing " he said with not a care in the world."

I picked up the shattered cup from the wood floor and swung it at his head.

" you littl-"

I ran rapidly to my bedroom and locked the door with a relieved sigh.

I was only eight years old but I knew a lot more than an eight year old. These dark days were not over yet. They were just beginning. One day he had pushed it to the limit.

Chapter 4

________

He said He was not going to hurt me anymore..he was finished with anger. He..lied...

He dragged me up the stairs to the bedroom. He said If I made a sound he would kill me. His threats did not scare me as much as him. I let him take advantage over and over again..He used me..He abused me.

"For an eight year old..you can take a lot" He laughed.

" It's not funny" I weeped.

" Shut Up" He said with aggression.

There were days when we were a real family. I remember the day when I first rode my bike. Daddy held my hands and let me fly. I was five when I had my first ride. It has been three damn years since we were a family.

In my room I sat..Broken and torn.

Over my mother I would mourn. I weeped and cried..I cried and sighed.

I hoped one day I would find happiness and serenity. I wanted to be..heard.

When he beat me and bruised me..I was not me. I was someone else. I felt like a stand-in for my mother. I missed her dearly. I think I will visit her today.

Chapter 5

________

The flowers were wilting and the dirt getting old. I had to buy a new bouquet and some new soil. My heart yearned for my mother. You know..she and I had the same name. We shared something special. Not only a love but..a name.

I placed my hand on top of the newly placed flower.

" I should have told you mommy.."

" I never told you what daddy has done"

" I never spoke up about anything..I'm sorry mommy and..I Love You."

On my way home I saw two little boys with their mom and dad. They looked like a real family. I recognized their faces. They were the wilson family.

The neighbors from across the street.

" Honey..you look a mess" Mrs. Wilson spoke up.

That's when I fell to the ground. My feet were tired. My head was spinning. My hands were weak. I was knocked out unconscious.

" honey..?" " are you alright..?"

" It was daddy..Daddy did it."

" Did what sweetheart..? Speak up now"

" Daddy touched me..he beat me"

I lifted my arm with the last bit of strength in my body. I lifted it to reveal the black and blue marks placed upon me. I lifted up my skirt to show the bruises on my legs.

" Oh..honey I-" Mrs. wilson was shocked.

" It's alright Darlin"

" It's gonna be fine..You'll be staying with us for awhile"

I smiled as much as I could. Mrs. Wilson held my hand all the way to the hospital. I held her hand like she was a replica of mommy. She was my new mommy.