The Urge to Kill

8

I thought that if I finally decided on who was going to die, the call would become muffled, and be quieter. However, I was wrong. So wrong. It got louder. This desire to kill someone was once again taking over my life. Although I didn't cope with it too well before, now I was okay with the constant shouting, because I had chosen someone. I knew that this wouldn't last too much longer.

I felt like I was going crazy, yet, I also felt zen in a way. It's difficult to describe, you'd never understand if you haven't felt this way about murder before.

To say I was exhausted would be an understatement. I threw myself onto my bed, scrolling though my phone. 37 emails. 9 texts. And a seemingly endless amount of feed I had to get through on social medias. My god. I couldn't believe I hadn't properly been on my phone. This plan I had had made me forget about things I used to do. I hastily reply to worried friends about why I haven't responded to them, and things like that. It's strange, really. Why was I trying to kill someone and choosing to ignore friends? Im living in a world full of infinite choices, and I'm doing stuff like this? I gave out a sigh. What has my life come to. I rolled over to my side, and without changing into more comfortable clothes, I drifted asleep.

By the next morning, I had already planned out what was going to happen for the day. Ticking the mental list of chores I had scheduled to do, I went by my day like any regular person. Well, mostly. During the afternoon, don't remember what time, I drove towards the hardware shop, at least, I think it was a hardware store? Look, I'm not the kind of girl that needs a chordless drill, so I rarely ever set foot into these types of stores. I paced down the isles, having no clue where the item I wanted was. I needed a weapon of some sort. I needed a murder weapon.

I finally found an isle containing some axes. Okay, hear me out on this one. I didn't just wanna go stabby stab and be over with it. If this is going to be my only murder, I've gotta have at least a little bit of fun while doing it, right? Haha! So, I figured that an axe would be perfect for... killing someone. I got a hold of each one, lifting it in different directions and giving them a swing if no one was looking. I ended up purchasing one that wasn't too heavy, as I do want to give a good swing, but also one that wasn't super light, as I did want to inflict enough damage to kill. I showed the bored looking employee my ID before heading out of the store, returning home. Ha, success!

As I drove back home, I gave what I was about to do a really big think. I don't think reality had set in until that moment. Holy shit. I was actually going to commit murder. My mind was screeching louder and louder as I got closer to home. My body quivered. My jaw was clenching. I could feel my heart pounding.

I placed the axe under my bed, in case I had any surprise visitors. Look, you don't wanna be caught with a random axe, okay? I was just being super careful! I spent the rest of my day practicing the sheet music for piano, however, it wasn't the most efficient and enjoyable experience. My mind felt like there were a thousand angry bees trapped inside of it, ready to fly out at any moment and reek havoc.

I took my thoughts and feeling out of a piece of paper, writing a metaphorical poem you could interpret multiple ways. 'Course, the correct deeper meaning is about the burning impulse to kill, ha! It really helped calm me down, although I knew I wouldn't have to deal with these thoughts much longer. Because...
Tomorrow was the day

(687 words)