Finding Myself

Finding Myself

Written By: GingerGirl8

Edited By: E

The sound of my own heartbeat echoed in the small room. My body felt sore, and I wanted to move but I wasn't sure if could. I opened my eyes and stared into the eyes of the man sitting at the edge of my hospital bed.

I didn't know this man. My brain ached as I tried to remember him, but I couldn't. I couldn't remember anything, let alone my name. I winced; the man furled his brow and squeezed my hand lightly. My gaze drifted to my hand which he had in two of his own. He waited for me to look up. When I did he spoke. "I'm so sorry, if I were with you this wouldn't have happened, it's all my fault." He let go of my hand and began pacing in the small room, muttering about things I didn't understand. I heard the door open and a small girl walked in, she looked younger than the man but just as pretty.

She stared at me and just smiled. "Hello Sleeping Beauty." She greeted me, she turned to the guy. "Peter, why didn't you tell me she was up?" The man, Peter, stopped pacing and shrugged, he turned and walked to a chair near the bed and sat down. The small blonde girl sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at me. She frowned, and opened her mouth then closed it, she looked like a fish.

Peter noticed this as well and questioned her. "What is it Emily?" His tone was a little harsh. I felt her unrelenting stare on me. "She just seems different, that's all."Emily replied. "How do you feel?" She pressed.

My throat seemed to close up at her question. I had managed to stay quiet so far, and I knew I would have to speak eventually, but I wanted to avoid it at all costs, but now I couldn't. I attempted to clear my throat. Peter reached for my hand but I quickly pulled it out of his reach. His brow creased once again. I looked at the both of them. "Who are you?" I asked. In a voice that sounded unfamiliar to me.

"Very funny Ab. I guess that means she feels fine." Emily said and then laughed. "Ab?" I questioned. "That's my name?" Emily's eyes widened and once again her mouth opened slightly. Peter recovered quicker than Emily did and he reached behind my head and pressed a button. A nurse came on through the speakers in the ceiling. "How can I help you?" The nasally nurse asked from the speakers. "We would like a doctor in room 5683 as soon as possible." Peter said while still remaining calm. All while Emily was completely still, you could almost see her thinking.

The nurse sighed and the speakers crackled and then went silent. Within moments a doctor entered the room. The doctor started to get to work without greeting us. He pushed buttons, pulled out my IV and then put in another, and finally when he was done with that he pulled up a chair and got out a pen and a piece of paper.

"Hello there," The doctor said directly to me. "I'm Albert, what is your name?" He asked. "I don't know my name," I said. I knew I was at my breaking point. "In fact I don't know anything about myself or even them." I said pointing directly at Peter and Emily. Everyone seemed taken aback by this, but it was true, I didn't know anyone or anything and was scared by this.

Tears rolled silently down my cheeks. Peter reached out a hand, as if to wipe away the tears but then thought better of it and instead ran his hand through his short black hair. Who was he, I thought. An older brother? A friend? I pushed the last thought out even though; I'd rather not think of it, was he my boyfriend. Someone who had lost all the love that might have been shared between us.

The doctor coughed and then looked between Peter and me. "Ok then," The doctor said. "I'm just going to ask a few questions and you answer to the best of your knowledge." He asked simple questions about myself, like my age, birthday, family members and such but I didn't know them. It was like trying to read a blank page. "One more question." The doctor said. "What is my name?" Hadn't he already told me this? "Albert." I replied. It was the only question I knew the answer to.

Albert smiled and I tried to smile, even though I felt like crying some more on the inside. "Am I done?" I asked Albert. He frowned. "No not yet. You need to have a CAT scan." I was not looking forward to this, but I should let the doctors do what they need to instead of causing trouble. I nodded. "Alright then, let's get you ready." Albert said. He reached behind my head and pressed the same button Peter had and the same nurse answered. Albert told her that someone named Paige was to come to my room and help me get ready. Was I supposed to know her as well? I hoped not, I didn't like not knowing things.

"Who is Paige?" Peter asked tonelessly. Emily rubbed his shoulder. "Paige is a nurse who will help get Abby here," He pointed to me. "Get ready for her scan." There was a timid knock on the door, which no one else had bothered to do before walking right in. Emily stood up and opened the door to reveal a tall, lean woman. Albert led Peter and Emily out of the room to answer some questions.

Paige was very shy and also very sweet. She pulled the blanket that was covering me off and folded it at the end of the bed. I looked at my bare feet, simple and normal things but, this was the first time I would ever remember seeing them. There was a small anklet around one of my ankles and on it there were six different charms, I would have to ask Emily about this.

Paige helped me into a wheelchair. She pushed me out the door to see Emily, Peter, and the doctor sitting on the floor outside of my room. Emily wiped tears that were starting to fall down her cheeks. They all stood up when we walked out. We walked for about three minutes in utter silence. Finally we came across a room labeled 'Lab.' I shivered involuntarily.

I was helped onto what looked gurney leading into a tunnel. Albert cleared his throat to get my attention. "I'm sorry Abby, but metal isn't allowed to enter the machine." I looked down at the anklet and ran my finger over it. Peter made a noise that almost sounded like a growl, which made no sense at all.

I unclasped the anklet, and placed it into Emily's waiting hand. Albert gave me a shot and Peter pushed me gently down and placed a pillow behind my head. Water seemed to envelope me, and finally I let my eyes close.