My Possessive Alpha Mate

Chapter 7

I was right. I got as far as putting the bags in the car when Jason appeared. I was so close but it wasn't too late. I couldn't live the rest of my life, having Derek be the center of it. I couldn't worry myself sick every time he wasn't by my side. His job was dangerous and it wasn't one he could just retire from. I wanted to finish school, go to college, get my degree, become a doctor. He wanted me to give up my dreams just to be his ideal woman, and scarily enough part of me wanted to. But I knew I couldn't. I needed to be true to myself. He needed to respect that I am human, he needed to learn to compromise. I continued to talk myself into leaving. Anxiety coursed through me, and a longing for Derek that I shoved deep down.

"And where is it that you think you're going, Arabella?" Jason asked as I strapped Alexa into her car seat. I tried to remain calm so he didn't think anything was off.

"I thought I would go register for school and run a few errands to take my mind off things." I told him, with a tight smile. My heart was racing and I knew he had the senses to tell but I hoped that he would write it off as a typical girl anxiety over a boy.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked, his eyes clouded with concern and maybe a little sympathy. I remembered he'd had a difficult human mate.

I let out a low sigh, "Yeah, I'm just a little worried that this won't be an easy adjustment. It seems like he usually gets what he wants."

Jason smiled softly at me, "Don't worry! He has been through a lot, he's more understanding and open than you think," he paused. "He's tough but fair."

Hesitantly, I smiled back. "Alright, I'm going to go now. Thank you for the advice, I appreciate it." And just like that, I got in the car and drove away.

                                                                                  ***

We had almost made it past the town limits when a massive black wolf ran into the road and howled so loud I think the car actually shook. It cut through my heart. I knew in an instant that it was him, Derek, and he was angry. I slammed on my breaks and stopped a few meters away from him.

We stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, just looking in each other's eyes. I was scared to get out of the car, who knew how he would react. I should've thought this through. I considered trying to drive around him but the chances of me escaping were slim and I was scared to make him more angry. I vowed to myself that I wouldn't get out of the car until he was in human form and in a mood to talk or at least not growling.

"If you change back into human Derek, then we can talk about it," I said, making direct eye contact.

He growled a little and shook his head as if he was having an inner battle, or so angry that he was fighting to be able to shift back. I had no idea how easy or hard it was to shift from human to wolf and back. After what looked like a struggle, he shifted back into human form. My heart rate spiked and I realized the error I had made, he was completely naked. It was going to be impossible for me to focus.

He crossed his arms and nodded, not moving from his original position in front of my car. I took that as my cue to start talking.

"I don't want to throw my life away for you." He growled loudly and I winced. I didn't know he could do that in human form.

"It's important to me to go to school. Not just high school, but college too. And then med school. I want to be a doctor. Ever since I was little, I always knew I would be a doctor. It would be like losing my identity, and I can't lose anything else. I think healthy relationships are about compromise and communication and I absolutely refuse to be the one doing all of the compromising," I paused. He rolled his eyes.

"I'm human and that's all I've ever known. You're... you're a werewolf and that's all you've ever known. Two different cultures and practices. You can't expect me to suddenly move in with someone I don't know. How am I supposed to know that I can have Alexa in your house? How safe is it for a human to grow up with werewolves?" He made an impatient gesture with his hand, telling me to hurry up. This pissed me off, didn't he get it?

"Do you understand what I'm saying at all?" I glared at him through the front windshield, gripping the steering wheel. He crossed his arms again. Every visible muscle in his whole body seemed to be flexed, from his jaw to his bicep. I could see a large vein in his neck pulsing.

"What have I said or done to make you think that I wouldn't have been understanding if you told me this when we planned to talk later?" He asked through clenched teeth, I could see the hurt in his eyes. 

He seemed so conflicted and it was then that I put two and two together. He was pushing the limits of his self control. He became blurry, as tears welled up. I didn't know what to say or do, he was so hurt. I wasn't sure what hurt me more, to see him like that or to know that I was the cause.

"I got scared. I... I missed you so much. I started to worry if you were hurt by the... the rogue and I-I thought... well I thought, " I sniffled, "I don't know what I thought, I was just scared." I started full blown ugly crying. All of this was just too much.

The car door slowly opened. I looked up at him, scared. He looked more scared of me though. Cautiously he held out a hand, trying to see how I would react. When I leaned toward him, he scooped me up and held me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist. Even naked, he was so warm. I couldn't help but feel safe in his arms. He held me tightly as I dug my face into his neck.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, unsure if my voice was muffled beyond his acute hearing skills. He brushed my hair from the side of my face, giving my cheek a tender kiss.

"You never have to be sorry for how you feel, not with me. I agree with you, healthy relationships do heavily rely on good communication and compromise. I never want to see you afraid of me like you were earlier. It's impossible for you to know this, but a werewolf's word means everything. We rarely make promises for fear we can't keep them but I'm going to make some promises to you today, okay Arabella?"

I pulled back to meet his eyes with confusion. What had I done to deserve any of his promises? This had all happened because I had made assumptions.

"I promise that you can always voice your feelings and thoughts to me without fear, and that all feelings and thoughts are valid in our relationship. I promise that I will keep Alexa safe until my dying day and beyond. If I don't you may drive the stake into my heart yourself. You have my word. And above all, I promise that we will compromise and find the best solution for you. Please don't underestimate how important you are to me, I would do anything to see you happy." Tired, I leaned my forehead against his and closed my eyes.

"I hated seeing you so angry and knowing I did it." I opened my eyes to find his open, our foreheads still together. I continued, "I can't promise I won't freak out-- this is a whole new world I had no idea existed-- but I can promise to try. I promise to put you first, like you're putting me first."

He glanced at my lips and that was all it took.