Aligned With The Stars (Montereal Series #3)

[9]

"Ate, how would you know if you like someone?"

Ate Tria hummed before dropping her pencil on the table. I told Kuya I was gonna visit Ate Tria in her unit. I just want to ask her a question that's been bugging me for days. She's older than me, so I'm expecting that I can get a proper answer from her.

"Like?" she said thinking about it. "I don't know... if you think about that person everyday? Or if there's something about that person that you really admire?"

I've had a total of five boyfriends since I was thirteen and none of them ever reached to "like". I don't know if the problem is with them or is it really me?

"What's the difference between liking someone because of their looks and liking someone because you know... you genuinely like them?"

Ate Tria seemed interested in my questions. I genuinely wanna know what's the difference between the two of those. I'm growing... and I just want to understand it means to like someone.

"Teka nga... you have a crush no? Aminin mo, Daphne. You like someone right now?"

Her eyes seemed like she's not giving this up. Parang kung hindi ko sasabihin ay hindi niya ako titigilan. Maybe it was a bad idea to ask her. She's naturally a chismosa too like me.

"W-Wala! Ate! I'm just really curious!" I defended.

"Weh?" she said, chuckling. "Okay. I'm not gonna force you to tell me who, but I'm gonna answer your question. Based on experience 'to, ha? So, don't assume that it's the same for you or for anyone else."

I leaned a little, ready to hear what she has to say.

"If you like a guy for his looks, it is very easy to forget him. 'Yung tipong isang araw may nakitang gwapo and then you see another one the next day and you'll immediately forget about him..."

I slowly nodded, understanding what she's saying.

"Then, there's this other guy who lives in your head for free. The type where everyday, he's all that you think about. Yung minsan tulala ka nalang tapos bigla mo nalang siyang naiisip? You know what I mean?" I nodded. "Yes, that kind. Tapos pag kasama mo pa siya, hindi ka mapakali. Your heart beats wild, and your cheeks start to flush red. You can't maintain the eye contact because if you'll look at him, you'll feel like you're melting or you just can't really look at him in the eye because you know that you'll be staring at it for hours, because of how much you admire them..."

Kumurap ako. All of the things she said perfectly describes how I feel. It's like she read my mind and said it out loud. Ganon na ganon nga ang nararamdaman ko. So does that mean, I like him?

I never felt like that with anyone. Not even once. I hadn't realize how much I relied on looks this whole time. Having relationships was never serious for me before. To me, it was all play. Experience. I never got to like someone so bad that I'd cry or I'd go through lengths just to see him.

Ilang araw ring tumatak sa isipan ko 'yun. I would walk mindlessly around the campus, almost bumping into doors because my head is in a deep state. Minsan, naiisip ko rin tuwing klase. Solara would even snap a finger in front of me just to put me back to my senses.

I can't like him.

No... no... I can't. Hindi pwede.

He's my brother's bestfriend. Aside from that, he's in love with my cousin! Even if it's just a crush, hindi pa rin pwede! Dahil ayokong mas lumalim pa ito. I'm way too low for him. At sigurado akong hinding-hindi rin siya magkakagusto sa 'kin.

For weeks and days, I managed to avoid him. Ayoko siyang makita. Pero kahit anong gawin ko, wala e. Makikita ko pa rin siya dahil pinapatuloy siya ni Kuya dito. He's here whenever Kuya's in class and whenever he has free time. Kaya minsan, nagdadahilan nalang ako at tumatambay kina Ate Tria. She's often in Trent's unit anyways so it's okay.