This One's For You //cth

cinco.

A/N;; THIS CHAPTER MAKES MY HEART ACHE

It had been just about two weeks since Marcella and I got back together, and everything was actually, normal I guess you could say.

It was around 2 am, and I couldn't fall asleep no matter what I did.

I spent three hours trying, so I decided to get up and do something instead of sitting here, frustrating myself trying to fall asleep. I pulled on something to wear, getting out of bed and leaving the dorms. I ignored the moans coming from Fletch's dorm, rolling my eyes and making my way to the park in campus center.

Like expected, there was virtually nobody out. But I could see the outline of somebody sitting on the bench at the park.

Slowing down, I carefully walked towards the park. The fuzzy outline cleared, and it was a guy.

He had on a hockey jersey. I couldn't see the name on the back of the shirt, but one thing I could see was a big black 'C' on the back. [A/N;; in hockey a C on a jersey means captain, wink wink] There was only two people who that could have been, and Ashton was asleep.

I approached the bench with a groaning Calum on it, placing my hand on his shoulder gently.

"Calum..?" I meant to be somewhat loud, but my voice came out in a raspy whisper.

He jumped slightly before he turned to see me and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "what are you doing up?"

I shrugged, mumbling that I couldn't sleep.

"Why are you up?" I returned the question, sitting on the bench, not too close to him.

He didn't answer, and looking closer at him I could tell his eyes were red and he sniffled a few times.

"Hey, are you alright?" I asked softly, placing my hand on top of his.

He looked down at my hand and shook his head simply, before his puffy eyes met mine. My heart dropped. You could tell he had been crying.

"Calum, what's wrong?"

"I don't love her."

"What?"

"Alexa. I don't love her. Hell, I barely fucking like her."

I really wanted to say that I know.

"What are you talking about? If you don't like her, why are you dating her?" I knew the answer already, but maybe there was another part.

"I have to." His voice was tense when he spoke.

"What do you mean you have to?"

"Alexa.. she's all I've ever known. Things don't feel the same without her.. We've been dating since senior year. She's basically all I've ever known, even if most of the time there were no feelings involved," Calum explained sadly, his voice deep. He looked down at my hand on top of his but let it stay there instead of pulling his away, "Have you ever loved somebody? Except, it isn't really love, but it isn't infatuation either?"

I nodded, because I knew exactly how he felt. I feel the same way with Marcella kind of, but there is some love there.

"I do," my voice sounded a lot sadder than it should have, and he noticed quickly, his eyes widening.

"You do? What do you mean?"

"I, um.. I feel that way with Marcella." Cal looked relieved to know somebody felt the same.

"Thank god you understand," he actually slightly smiled, which looked nice against the dark of the night. It was starting to lighten up, but barely.

"Yeah," I returned the smile, "It sucks. Badly. I wish I could end things."

"Wait, but I thought you were single? 'not a relationship type', remember?"

"Well, yeah I said that. She asked me out a little bit later and I said I'd be willing to give her a second chance." I shrugged, smiling at the fact that he actually listened to me.

"Oh. Tell me if she hurts you, she'll regret it," he was joking, but I could hear the slightest hint of seriousness in his voice.

I yawned quietly, and he pulled his hand away from mine.

"Tired?" Cal asked, half smiling.

"Yeah. I've been tired for the past three-ish hours, and I can't fall asleep," I frowned, at what I said and the loss of contact.

"I haven't really tried," he shrugged.

"I usually have somebody with me as weird as it sounds, so I just can't sleep by myself. I don't know," I mumbled, immediately regretting saying that, but Calum had a slight grin on his face.

"I could help you with that," he suggested and my face got red quickly.

"W-what?"

"I don't have a problem with sleeping with you. Not in a sexual way, of course," he added, "just helping out a friend, right?"

"Y-yeah, I guess," I wasn't expecting him to say that. Oh.

"Shall we?" He stood up, holding his hand out to me. I hesitantly took it, "Lead the way." He said, and I nodded.

The walk back to my dorm was silent. I left the door unlocked when I left so I didn't have to bring my keys. I kicked my boots off, and he took his jersey off before laying down on my bed, patting the spot beside him.

Quietly, I climbed into bed next to him and he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close to him. My heart fluttered, even if this was just 'helping out a friend' like he said. If Alexa found out, I would never be able to fall asleep.

I chose my position carefully to avoid hurting him, getting a visual reminder of the cut on his side. "Does it still hurt?"

"No, not as much at least. You really helped me the other day." Calum replied, fingertips pressing into the skin of my shoulder gently.

"It's healing nicely," I comment, running my fingers around the bottom edge of the cut, careful of how low my fingers went. He hummed in response, but his skin tensed where I touched it.

My head rested against his chest and I fought to keep the smile off of my face, failing miserably. Even though it was dark, I could tell that he noticed.

The room was so quiet, I could hear his heartbeat. It was soothing, honestly. It was a new experience, cuddling with somebody you barely know while in a relationship, but I liked it. Especially because it was Calum.

I know everybody is going to freak out when I tell them. They're going to tell me he likes me, and I'm just going to laugh.

He doesn't like me.

He could never like me.

He never will like me.

This didn't mean anything, what was happening.

Just a friendly favor.

Oh, who am I kidding? I don't know what's going on in his head. Even though I'm probably right.

Somewhere between me complaining to myself, I drifted off to sleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

A/N;; I'm nalum af oh my god my heart please