a kiss on the wrist

Chapter 28- eighteen.

My breathing was uneven and my face dry and hard from my tears. The ceiling seemed all to interesting as i lied in my bed. Sadly not my own bed. I sat up against the wall and brought my knees to my chest, resting my chin on them. I felt it now, again. The urge to cry, but i was out of tears. When i cried now, it was the silent type of crying, the dry one where your throat is dry and your breath is hitched.

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"Hey you gotta wake up, breakfast time," i heard a soft voice tell me. I fluttered my eyes open and looked up at her.

"Hey I'm shay your roommate , you might wanna hurry we leave in a minute," she told me as i rubbed my eyes and stood up following shay to the line of girls. We stood alongside a white wall on the left side of the long hallway. On the right a line of boys much shorter than our line stood.

"Ok single file hands behind your back and when we get into the adult unit don't make eye contact" the lady instructed as she swiped her card and opened the door. "Adolescents on the unit!" She hollered. The pods were now filled with adults in their doorways.

"Such a Beautiful girl," and older lady commented. Looking at me she reached her hand out to touch me. "Cindy back in your pod!" I heard a stern voice say. The elderly lady obeyed and smiled as we walked by. After we left the adult unit we were in the cafeteria and we were now lined up against a different wall. The cafeteria walls were orange and tall. There were metal table all around the room with chairs attacked to them.

"Just tell him what you want and then when you want desert come back up and receive it," shay whispered it me as we got closer to the food.
"Um can i have the hash browns and cocoa pebbles please," i told him quietly. "His name is billy" shay informed me as she took her tray and bully handed me mine. "Thanks billy" i smiled. I followed shay to a table with two other girls. I sat down next to shay as the other two girls eyed me.

"What's your name, where you from, and what's your story?" The blonde one asked. "Courtney," shay laughed.
"No it's fine. Um I'm robin, I'm from here in Aberdeen. I'm in for suicide and depression i guess" i laughed taking a bite of my hash brown. "You guess?" The brunette asked. "Yeah i guess, what's your guys name?" I questioned.

"I'm Courtney, and that's Brittany, I'm in here for lots of reasons. None of which i feel like sharing right now," she laughed, opening her milk. "So robin what with the 'you guess'" she asked looking me in the eyes.

"Well i was in the hospital for two weeks before i was here for attempt at suicide, and they diagnosed me with chronic depression, but those two weeks i felt happier than i had ever been" i replied picking at my food. "Why were you happy ?" Shay asked me.
"Well it's complicated, but uh the main reason was a boy, i know it sounds soppy, but he made me happy," i smiled, remembering niall's laugh as Courtney and Brittany's voice faded.

*flashback*

"No the blackberries!" I laughed as niall threw a blackberries at my mouth. It hit my lip and bounced back at him. "Try to catch it this time!" He laughed, holding his sides. "Ok one..two..three!" He screamed as he threw it straight in my mouth. I caught it and held it between my teeth.

"Best catch in da world!" He laughed grabbing my face between his hands. I smiled "Ok you ready for round two?" He asked. "Niall I'm hungry i want some real food!" I whined. "You can eat me," he smirked, kissing me. I still had the blackberry in my mouth, but when Niall pulled away the blackberry was gone. "Mm it's a little tart," he said making a weird face. I threw my head back into the pillow, pulling niall by his shirt and taking him down with me. "I love you," he laughed in my ear. "Kiss me" i laughed as he smiled.

*end of flashback*

His smile was beautiful and it shinned inside my brain. "Robin were leaving," shay pointed out as i stood up and threw my tray away.

We went through the same procedure and ended back in our own unit. I was in pod c. "When can uh we have visitors and phone calls?" I asked shay as we sat down in the rec room. "Man that's bullshit!" A blonde girl yelled throwing her cards down. "Damn how'd you know!" Brittany laughed. "I'm stormie glazzle i know everything Brittany!" She yelled standing up from her chair. She then started to have a violent twerk session and everyone erupted into laughter.

"Aye robin you twerk?" She called out to me. "Uh nah i can't," i laughed as she got on the wall.

"You got da booty" she laughed. I grabbed my butt and laughed along. The rest of that day consisted of violent twerking session, group therapy, a card game titled bullshit, and lots and lots of talking. By the end of the day everyone knew me, and everyone understood me. I didn't have to worry about trying to fit in or impress anyone. Of course we aren't allowed to shave, have makeup, or any personal bathroom items. Instead they give you a bucket that holds a bottle of shampoo, conditioner, a tooth brush, toothpaste, and a bristle brush, and a pair of socks.

At the end of the day you turn your box in and in the morning you get it back. You get snacks i between meals and at night.

"So visiting hours are tomorrow and your allowed to make a phone call tonight actually." Shay informed me as they called us out each one by one to make our phone call.

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"Robin your up,my have five minutes " the nurse Nolan called. I took a breath and grabbed the phone. I dialed niall's number and waited impatiently while it rang.

It had rang for a whole and just when i thought it would go to voice mail he answered.

"Hello?" I heard his sweet Irish accent ring through the phone. "Niall!" I basically squealed. "Robin?"

"Yeah it's me we get a phone call and visiting hours are tomorrow from 12 to 1:30, are you going to be able to come?" I asked him with eagerness to hear his voice
"Yes i will I'll be there i can't wait to see you robin, i miss you like crazy this is hell for me, harry didn't take it so well. Neither did Mari or kassie or sofie. Zayn told me that uh he really likes your friend Mari. " he laughed. God that laughe brightens my day. "Do you want me to bring them?" He asked. "Uh i mainly just want to see you but yes bring them." I smiled as i heard his voice. "Niall please just let me hear your voice my five minutes are almost it, sing to me, Laugh, or just talk, i just want to hear your voice." I laughed. "I just want to hear your voice!" He laughed. "I'm ok niall I'm doing great i mean it's different and scary, but it's not so bad," i replied. "Now sing to me." I laughed,

"Uhh ok i got a song!" He laughed, getting serious.

"I got a heart And I got a soul Believe me I will use them both. We made a start .Be it a false one, I know. Baby i don't want to feel alone. So kiss me where i lay down my hands pressed to your cheeks, a long way from the playground.
I have loved you since we were eighteen, long before we both thought the same thing, to be loved and to be in love.
All i can do is say that these arms were made for holding you. I wanna love like you make me feel when we were eighteen.....

I have loved you since we were eighteen." He finished taking a breath. I covered my mouth and smiled. "It's new, I've been working on it. It's about you, you know, the song. It's about us." He told me.

"Robin your five minutes are up." Nolan said typing away in his phone. "Niall i have to go, that was beautiful and i can't wait to see you tomorrow." I told him holding back my tears.

"be careful and i can't wait to see you either.I love you darlin." He told me, making my heart skip a beat.

"I love you too niall, bye" i said as he hung up.

I went to my room and lied down. Tomorrow can't come fast enough.