Unfated Destiny

Blankets covering my shivering shoulders, sound of rain tapping on my window pane, sound of pencil sketching through my papers and the sound of eraser screeching as it made friction with the paper. I blew cold breath as I sip my hot coffee, wondering why the weather's so cold yet the forecast literally said that it's going to be a sunny morning.

Its not that I dislike rainy weather, it just reminds me of something pleasant yet not at the same time. Something worthy of remembering yet so bittersweet. Something worthy to cherish yet brings up sorrow.

I pushed myself backwards as my swivel chair moves at the same direction. I sighed and looked up at the drawing I perfectly treasure and care of.

"Who would believe you were real yet unreal..."

Back to the time, it was the same weather as today-- raindrops tapping my window as I was finishing off my final sketch to be submitted the day after that day. I was about to doze off, knowing that I haven't sleep for three days straight working with the sketch.

Eyes about to close and then you pressed my doorbell button repeatedly while shouting, asking if someone is home and that you need to shelter from the rain. It shot me awake that I immediately sprung off my chair and went to open the door.

You were so thankful that time, saying you were about to freeze to death. I just stood there, staring dumbstruck at you, admiring how perfect your face was. I was awoken by feeling your cold hand slightly tap into my cheek and you were right... you're about to freeze. So without a second thought, I went and grabbed my favorite sweater. You, looking so confused, just stared at the sweater I handed. You let out an awkward 'oh...' when you realised I was lending it to you.

I invited you in and make yourself at home. We talked a lot about random things. That was the time I really felt comfortable with someone. I can't name you a stranger because you have something in you that seemed to feel familiar. You spent the night here and constantly giving me compliments with my drawings.

Morning came and you're about to go, you handed me my sweater back. I shook my head, waving both of my hands-- I insisted giving it to you. You said thank you with a soft smile, it made my heart melt.

Who would have thought we'll meet again? And after that coincidence meeting, we met again, and again, and again. Until we grew fond of each other and falling in love wasn't a difficult task to do.

We went on dates, had fun with each other, cuddled, had meals together, we were inseparable. But that one night, you called me...as I said my goodnight and I love yous, you replied with, "You know, I think it's time to let me go...you need to face reality." I laughed, not bothering what you said and sincerely told you that you are my reality...but I should have known that I'm not yours.

After that night...you never texted and called me again, my messages always went delivered but you aren't reading it. I tried my best contacting you and even decided to go to your place but then there I realized... I don't know anything about you. You're so happy go lucky and yet so mysterious.

Days, weeks passed by I haven't heard anything about you. I was going insane, thinking where did I go wrong for you to suddenly leave without giving a cue. One rainy morning, I woke up and found a note. It was from you.

"I love you, please remember that."

That's what the letter said. My mind went black. I don't know what to do or even think. I opened our conversation and they mysteriously faded one by one. I opened my gallery and scanned our pictures, they're also fading, one by one. I unconsciously diverted my gaze on my clothes rack. There I saw the sweater that I gave you. What is it doing there? I don't know. It's supposed to be yours. Everything you own that's in my house, they're all mysteriously fading one by one.

Cannot process what's happening, I felt my head spin. I reached out to hold into something but too late... I collapsed. As I was losing my consciousness, I saw you. In a frame, a drawing of you. Next thing I knew, I woke up in a hospital bed. It was my sister who found me laying unconscious on the floor.

I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, leading to schizophrenia.

There I realized that what you said was true. I need to face my reality, and that reality isn't you because you only exist in my world, my mind, my imagination.

I sighed, looking out the misty window and then at your drawing as I read the date when I drew it. December 03, 2004. That was way long before I met you.

I furrowed my brows.

Why am I looking at the drawing again?