The War Against Myself

Another day alone
Another night,
Another knife,
I guess I'm on my own.

My "friends" don't really care-
No one does.
What's to stop me from doing this?

They lights are on
My eyes are closed

Here goes nothing

And no one understands
The dark I'm dealing with
And all the people in my life
Are way too blind to see the vice.

"Just try being happy."
"It can't be that bad."
"Oh, come on! Some people in this world are so much less fortunate that you. Stop being selfish."

I am detrimental to myself.

All these scars
All these scars
From the war against ourselves
The war against ourselves
All these scars
All these scars
From the war against ourselves

The razor digs into my skin and the familiar red liquid seeps out.

I'm living in a hell
It's what is real

Some people believe I will go to hell for doing this.
But how could that be any worse than the hell I already live every single day?

I know that you're confused

"But you're taking meds, seeing a therapist,
"Why are you still depressed?"

I've been there once
I've been there twice

I was laughing and happy earlier, that must mean I'm fine.
Is it all just in my head?

The third time I didn't choose.

I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE.

I guess I'm born to loose.

I can't do anything right, I'm such a failure.

The ones that break you down
They look so cool

When the "popular" kids bully the loners
For being loners

It's why I always break the fucking rules.

Fuck it.
Who cares?

My synchronized wounds.

Three new scars in perfect alignment.

All these scars
All these scars

That makes six.
Visible, anyway.
For now.

From the war against ourselves
The war against ourselves

I'm fighting a battle against myself.

All these scars
All these scars
From the war against ourselves

And I'm losing.

I'm living in a hell

I want to die

It's what is real

God, I want to die

They break me down

"Worthless"
"Ugly"
"Pathetic"
"Loser"
"Fag"
"Whore"
"Kill yourself"

I can't block the sound
So I turn to the one thing
I knew will not let me down

That razor is my only friend.
It's the only thing that's always there for me.

People don't think to ask what's wrong.

Everyone around me talks and laughs with each other. Ignoring me.

I stop and go to the beat of the broken floor in blood

They just can't see me falling apart

All these scars
All these scars
From the war against myself
I'm a walking hell.

Just stay away from me.

I won't starve myself of the dark.
Listen to me scream and shout
But do not say a word

Goodbye.