Trigger Warning

"Suicide"

"Suicide." Gosh that word has haunted me for almost a year. It seemed like a fairy tale but valentines day of 2012 made it all a reality not for me but I was a part of it. Stuck on the outside if the glass watching it all happen, but now I'm on the inside of the glass. In the very center as the thoughts and possibilities swirl around me like a hurricane moving fast and chaotic, too crazy to comprehend. It's too easy to en it. It doesn't seem like it would be that hard, but seeing what it's outcome is, would be too hard to put my friends and family through. I don't want anyone to go through that.....cutting myself off would be an option. Iccolating myself so I wont be missed. It's what I want. I've always been obsessed with death. I want to know what it's like. How it feels. What happens after. Where you go. If there's a heaven or hell. It are you condemned to walk the earth for eternity. It's a shadow that will never see light. This is a case of "curiosity killed the cat", but I don't think satisfaction raises the dead.