Open Minds

Sick of everything

Mia

I'm sick, with a lot of things. I'm sick of pity, of being a charity case, I'm sick of the hospital, I'm sick with cancer. But most of all, I sick of forgiving people, I'm sick of telling people it's ok when it's not. I'm sick of telling myself its ok and things will be ok when I don't know that! I have stage 3 cancer, I pretty much live in the hospital and it sucks.

It was Monday morning, I was about to tune into my math class when one of my many doctors Ms. Cortez came into my room. She checked my IV and monitor then walked out she looked more worried than usual. I annoyed I crawl up to sit straight in my bed and join my live classroom. My mom says a lucked out with my school, since they always do a live meeting so I can still participate they even put the computer where I am on a desk so I feel like I'm sitting in a desk. I used to think it was the coolest thing ever, but now it feels boring and I'm so over it. My friends only visit me on weekends and I still have to do homework! My day is always the same, go to school, do my homework, take a nap, call me friends, try to walk, talk to my doctors, talk with my mom, eat, go to bed. I hate hospital life. My mom walks in the room also looking worried,

"What's wrong mom?" I asked troubled by all the freighted expressions I had been given this morning. She looks at me, her eyes glossy I could tell she had been crying. Mom opens her mouth as if she was going to say something, the pauses.

"You don't have to go to school today" she began.

"All right!" I cheered clapping my hands then regretting it since pain filled my body afterward. I left the meeting and turned off my computer, but Mom is biting her lip. She does that when something wrong so I ask again.

"Mom, what's wrong" I can see water grow up in her eyes, my Mom is an actually superhero. She never cries at least not around me, she is the strongest person I ever knew. She handles bad news like a campion, or at least she did.

"The doctors..their doing everything they can" she assures

"But I just- I can't" tears spew down her fragile cheeks, her mascara starts to run. I pull Mom in close and hold her as she cries and rants.

"I'm so tired Mia" she

"I'm so tired" she echoes then falls asleep in my arms. A few hours later Mom leaves her face still damp because of her melt down, I don't know what to do so I scroll thru my Instagram feed hoping something that will lift my spirts will pop up, after 20 minutes of nothing I decide to get up. I can't move very well and I'm in constant pain I've began to walk better, of course with the help of a walker. Mom tells me not to get up by myself anymore since last time I tried I fell and couldn't get up till my doctor found me on the floor. It was so embarrassing, but after that my insisted I got one of those alert things that old people have on cable commercials , after begging for days for her not to get me one we compromised by my promising that I would never get up without her or other adult help. But life was made to break promises, right?

I turn myself around and make sure that my walker is only a few inches away from my bed, then slowly let my feet sink to marble ground. As they lower themselves I place my hands on my walker, 3, 2, 1 push. I'm standing! Walking at that! I feel so proud I feel like dancing. I feel like praising- never mind. I saunter out my glasses doors of my room into the medical air of the hospital. We decorated my room from head to toe, Mom bought my a nice navy blue rug and we hung pictures of my friends and places I went to before I got sick. I walk past all of the rooms on my floor, I'm on the top floor with 4 other kids. Riley, Joshua, Diana, and Nick or Nicky. The 5 of us have become friends over the past 2 years but I have problems with all of them. Riley is a valley girl and a no it all, Joshua can't stand up for himself, Diana is a gossip, and Nicky is a total player. He asked out all three of us girls and there's always girls visiting him. We usually hangout together and do homework but were not like besties or something. I say hi to the girls wave to Joshua and blow a kiss to Nicky but just as a tease. He laughs and blows one back. Then I say hello to my favorite nurse Addison who smiles and gives me a quick hug.

"Hang in there girly" she says then turns and goes down the corridor. I go into the elevator to the 9th floor and visit one of the people who keeps me most strong. Ms. Brown, she's an elderly lady who has diabetes I think, her husband died 3 years ago just as she was diagnosed. Her daughter is 31 she's always busy and seems to be annoyed that her Mom is even in the hospital, her daughter is 7 and her son is 5 her daughter is kinda freaky. I knock on her door slowly since she doesn't like a lot of noise.

"Come in" answers her craggily voice. I smile walk into the room to find Ms. Brown looking out the window which is where I usually find her.

"Hey!" she cheers

"Hi Ms. Brown" I chirp, and then sit down beside her.

"How's Caroline today?" I ask, Caroline or Carol is Ms. Brown's daughter. She sighs then says,

"She good, I just wish she'd visit me more"

"Well you got me" I smile reaching for her hand then giving it a gentle squeeze, her skin is smooth and warm. But it feels like a cat neck so much excess skin.

"Well, you know maybe you should look a little deeper in this hospital when mines times up where you be?' she asks, her sweet old voice wavering. I think about this hard my brows crunching, I don't like to think about what will happen to Ms. Brown and what I'll do without her.

Later on I head back to my room, it takes me awhile but when I get there a surprise awaits me. A girl with dark brown hair down to her shoulders and honey colored skin and freckles is laying in a bed beside mine. She looks just like me, well minus the hiar

"Mia, meet Naomi your new roommate!'