𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭

he quit his job
just like he quit on me.
the miscellaneous pieces
of the puzzle he was piecing
together in those months
makes sense now.
a girl with dark hair looks
runs to him.
they kiss and she plops
down into the passenger side of his
tan Honda.
I should have known
he was too good to be true.
my grieving heart finds it hard
to go on.
how am I to disregard
his disinterest in me and the existence
of his perfect, white teethed girlfriend?
how am I supposed to
forget him?
I walk past the library and I remember
the way it felt sitting next to him during Lunch.
no worries existed and it felt
like maybe I'd found something special
at last.
I was dumb enough to believe
someone like him would want
someone like me.
I was dumb enough to think
I had a chance.
The dreams and poems and hopes
weren't even destroyed by him.
He let someone else do that.
I find myself wondering why I even
bothered to fall at all.
It never works out for me.
I never get the guy.
I never really win anyone's heart.
I'm not elegant and sweet tempered
and I hate drink sparkling water.
I despise the sound of trombones and I
spin vinyl every Saturday morning.
I love romantic comedies
and wonder why I'm so disappointed
in love.
My expectations have been
unrealistically raised.
I believe that there's someone there
for me.
I believe that one day I will spend
Christmas with a boyfriend.
I believe that I will have a Roman Holiday.
I believe in him.
But I'm at a loss.
I feel there is no one who could
love me.
No matter what they thought of me.
They will all disappoint me
and I should know that by now.
Never have I met a guy who wasn't trying
to play me or use me or hurt me.
Why should I have faith when they never
have love to begin with?

written on: september 24th, 2020

****this poem is full of emotion
and is all over the place.
I hope all of you
appreciate this :) -R