Teardrops

❣️Untitled IV❣️

🦋Pure🦋

Kyla...

"Kyla! It's already past six and yet kararating mo palang! Where have you been?!"

I froze after hearing my mother's voice. I turned to her side only to receive a slap on my face. It hurts, yeah.

But I didn't react. I'm used into this kinds of situations so I can manage to control my tears and feelings.

Ngunit napaatras ako nang makita syang galit na galit at may nanlilisik na mga mata. Lalo lamang akong nanginig sa takot nang makita ang hawak nyang bagay.

It's a baseball bat and the thought that she will beat me up with that thing makes me feel in dread and terror. She loves punishing me until I bleed to death.

"Now, tell me where you've been!"

I just bowed my head and didn't say a word. I didn't respond because I know she won't listen to me anyway. Even I am telling her my reasons, still she won't believe me.

For her I am just a bad teen age girl that wasn't doing anything good. I am just their worthless daughter. They treat me like an excess baggage in this family.

"So hindi ka sa sagot?! Ngingisi-ngisi ka dyan na parang tanga?! Wala ka talagang pakinabang!" she said then pushed me hard that made me bumped into a big vase causing it to stumble and broke.

And seconds later when I saw my blood dripping from my palms. Hindi pa sya nakuntento at hinampas nya pa ako ng hawak nyang bat. She didn't stop until she won't see me bleeding in death.

" There! Fixed that mess so that you can be useful just for this time!" her last words before she left me. I smiled bitterly as my tears began to fall.

What the hell did I do to them to treat me like this? I don't know what to think anymore.

Maybe I am just adopted or something? Or maybe I am just a mistake, my very existence is a big mistake...

"Naku hija! Kinagalitan ka nanaman ba ng iyong mama?! Tumayo ka na riyan at ako na ang maglilinis nito!"

I stopped crying as I heard yaya Belen's voice. I stand up and slowly walked into my room. I'm giving all the strength that I have just to walk properly towards my room.

Tears covered my face because of the excruciating pain I am feeling, inside and out. This feeling, I hate this freaking feeling! I started sobbing again as I grab my bag pack to get my cutter.

I'm fond of slashing my wrist whenever I feel sad, stressed, or depressed. This helps me to calm down a bit. This is my stress reliever whenever I am always in this kind of situations.

I have a lot of scars on my wrists, from those healed, still closing wound until to those fresh ones. I'm just wearing long-sleeves to cover every scars.

And like what my other usual nights, I slept crying while bleeding to death. And like my usual thoughts, I wished that I won't be ever wake up.

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"Ms. Kyla Sullivan, your father wants to talk to you outside. You're excused."

My anxiety attacks as I heard about my father. Wala pa man ngunit parang gusto ko nang umiyak. My knees was shaking and I am sweating cold.

Nanginginig ang mga kamay na kinuha ko ang aking mga gamit at mabagal na naglakad palabas ng silid. I don't know what to expect or to do. As I went out I saw my father's grinning face.

He looks like a normal caring father for the others, but it's the most impossible thing to me. Everything that he was showing in public was just a facade.

"Common, honey. Your mother is already waiting for us. How could you forget about our family date, huh?"

I was totally speechless about his every words. Mother, waiting for us? Family date? That's all a b*llshit! I want to scream as I felt his hands gently squeezed my shoulder.

I was just shaking all the way in his car. Scared and terror about what will happen to me on my father's hands.

"Hmmm, honey you smell like your mom..." he said while smelling my hair. We are now in his car and the innocent man in public a while ago was now gone.

Lust and desire is now written in every inch of his face. He's a demon! A filthy animal!

My tears was continuesly falling while we're in the way through hell.

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"Miss Sullivan are you sure about this? This will not be easy for you."

I smiled cheerfully in front of the doctor.

"I am a hundred percent sure, Doc. I just wanted to help."

"But---"

"Please, doc. I really want to do this. I felt like this is the only right thing I will ever do. So please, let me do this."

The doctor just sighed as a sign of defeat.

"Ok, please come with me."-he said as he lead me into a certain room where I met a lovely couple.

"Hija! Thank you so much for doing this! I don't know what to say!" - said the girl as she weep and hug me. I felt like delighted in doing this. Cause for the first time, I did something good.

The couple was just Weeping while uttering their appreciation to me. Their daughter must be very lucky to have them. They love her so much.

A single tear escaped from my eyes that I automatically wiped as I smiled to them.

"It's my pleasure to help po. I hope your daughter will be able to see the both of you after the operation. She's so lucky to have you."-i said in almost a cracked voice.

I am really so emotional when it comes to family matters. Maybe because I never felt like something special and worthwhile in the eyes of many.

And by doing this, I am happy that finally someone appreciated me. And that is all that matters.

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"Are you ready, hija?"

"Yes, doc"

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When I was just a kid, I always love helping the others. I always want to give a help to those who's in need.

I remember when I saw a strangled dog in the street. Tinulungan ko itong makahinga mula sa mahigpit na pagkakatali nito dahil sa awa. The dog even bite and clawed my hands but I still helped it.

I remember the crying old woman in the church. I don't know her but I decided to approach her to asked what is her problem.

She said her grand daughter was in the hospital and was needed a heart transplant but no one was willing to donate. She has no money and she looks very sick and sad.

And I thought that her grand daughter was so lucky to have her as a grandmother. Naaawa ako sakanya so I made a decision that I won't regret on doing.

Then i went to the hospital where the grandmother told me and met her grand daughter's doctor. But I was stunned after hearing a couple who's crying on the church hospital.

I asked the doctor what's their problem and the doctor told me that their daughter's eyes was being damaged in a car accident and was now blind.

And there I understand what parents was feeling when losing their daughter. But if I will dissappear, will my parents be sad and yearn too? Will they cry too? Will they regret what they have done to me everyday? Will they mourn in my death?

But then, I smiled bitterly as answers flooded my mind.

Definitely not.

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