I'm nobody's b!tch

Part 14: Awkwaaard~~

Silas shrugs "I guess that's true..." he sighs, rubbing his head and taking a seat next to me. Despite wanting him to leave, i scoot over to make more room. He ruffles my hair for some reason "Glad to see you're doing better at least..." he offers me a soft smile and i crinkle up my face in disgust, i can't help but mutter a "I liked you better when you were an ass..." to which i follow up with a sigh, hoping that he wouldn't hear. But judging by his laugh, he probably did... "Yeah, gee thanks... i like you better when you aren't being an ass..." he chuckles. I frown "I'm always an ass..." i roll my eyes, basically, i'm not a very likeable person... though, i already knew that...

"Not always... you have your moments..." he says casually, almost as if he'd never said a mean thing about me at all... I huff, rolling my eyes, as if... "It's true!" he defends, staring amusedly at me "Sometimes you can be really cute if you want to..." he grins, my cheeks flush and i try to hide it behind my arms "Fuck off..." i mumble, turning away. I can practically hear his grin widening "Now there- is the Kendal i know..." he seems pretty damn pleased with himself, that asshole...

But despite this, i find myself smiling... I did feel a bit like how i was just a few days ago... But i keep myself hidden from his view, no way in hell i'll let him know that he made me smile... At least he'll have to work for it... That's how the world goes...

Silas shifts besides me, sighing. Something wrong? I remain quiet, still underneath my arms. "How uh... How are you feeling?" he coughs awkwardly. His question kind of makes me want to sigh "Fine." i roll my eyes, well, how does he think i feel!? Why does this crap always happen to me? I must be the unluckiest person in the history of ever. I peek up from underneath my arms, and the first thing i see is Silas staring at me with a bemused expression "Sure..." he rolls his eyes. Did he really expect me to tell him how "scared and hurt" i am? Not in a million years... Not even if he paid me...

"Look Kendall... I think it's fairly obvious that i don't want to hurt you by now... So why do you find it so damn hard to trust me?" he narrows his eyes at me. I offer him an incerdulous look "Really? Let me think... How about the fact that you're a fucking Vampire!" i hiss, he visibly flinches, like i just punched him in the gut, and for some reason i feel a teeny tiny pang of guilt in my chest. Yikes, i've spent waaaay too much time around him... I mean seriousy, since when do i feel guilt for insulting a fucking vampire? It's blasphemous!

He sighs again "Sorry i tried..." he mutters, his voice is layered with a thick coat of anger. I huff "There we go... Despise me" i sigh dramatically, smiling innocently at him. He tugs at his hair, which i've noticed he does when angry or stressed... And why the hell have i noticed this!? I crinkle my brows in confusion, jus what the hell? Probably because he's been hanging around me so much late- no, that's not true... Might have been true before i had that week-long coma... But after i woke up, he visited me... Twice i think? Something among those lines... I figure i better give him an answer, if only to soothe my guilt a bit... "But... Y-you're not as bad... A-as other vampires..." i mumble, but judging by his face he heard it very clearly. He blinks, opening his mouth before closing it again.

Then something really unexpected happens, his face explodes in at least ten shades of red and jumps up from his sitting position, clearing his throat and coughing at the same time. He then rubs the back of his head, sputtering random nonesense. I can kinda see why though... When somebody randomly says that to you, you'd usually react in a similar fashion... Not that i suddenly turned into a psychologist or anything... But some things you just know... So i decide to follow up with "But that still doesn't mean that i like- or trust you any more than anybody else got it!?" Good god, i'm babbling aren't i?

Silas let's out this nervous laugh, and suddenly everything goes deathly quiet. Really awkward i know... Silas's gaze darts around outside and he absentmindly slaps at his thighs. "Weeeell~" he drawls, clearing his throat. "Do you want me to uh- To take you back inside?" he seems a bit skittish, which is strange to see with him. "Uh... Sure, thanks... I guess..." i mumble, scratching at the back of my head. Why i agreed is a mystery to me but hey, i won't have to drag my sorry ass back myself...

Silas nods softly, his cheeks still tinted a bit red... And despite being a vampire, it makes him look kind of cute... And even though i hate him i'm allowed to say this... Because you know... Sexuality... It's a miracle i'm still attracted to dudes... Considering all of the bullshit i've had to go through with them in the past... i swear, some people have no self-restraint...

I take the hand he holds towards me, and he gently pulls me up to my feet. I nearly trip, but Silas holds out his arm in the gentlemanly way, and it somehow steadies me. I thank him. but it's really more like a whisper. He shakes his head "Don't mention it..." and gently leads me inside the school building. We say nothing, and to be honest, i kind of prefer it that way. Kind of awkward to hold hands with him though, even though it is just to keep me steady. Silas makes sure that i don't topple over and i guess that's the most important. I swallow, trying to ignore the dull aching in my chest, of course it hurt in the beginning... Now it's just an annoyance... Messes up my mood...

Not that my mood was very good to begin with, especially not my temper... after silently escorting me to my room, Silas stares awkwardly at me for a second, before turning on his heel and nearly jogging down the hall. I don't think it can get more awkward than this... No seriously.... Perhaps it will get him off of my back for a little while longer, i mean seriously... I definately liked it better when he hated me. When did he start gtting nicer to me anyway? He's not the "vicious, merciless" vampire i thought he was, that's for damn sure... I close the door to my room and i wobble over to my bed where i kind of just... Collapse... Sweet jesus i didn't know this bed was this soft!? Or is the infirmary bed just that hard? Well, harder matresses are better for the back, so that may be why... I like them better soft though, more comfortable that way.

I can finally start on the third book of that romance series i'm reading... Thank god for that, the suspense is killing me! Which reminds me, Silas hasn't given the first one back yet... He probably hasn't even touched it yet... Asshole...

Shit like this makes me miss school...

I sigh, not believing i could even think for a second that i, Kendal Rivers- Miss school... Mostly for constantly being able to see Tessa... God i love that woman... The sister i never had... I smile a little, i'm looking forwards to seeing her again. I mean, she did visit me a lot, but it was a little awkward... I feel myself smirk, she's going to flip when she finds out i've hung up her feel better note on the wall... Of course i don't have a frame for it, but still...  It hangs on the place of honour, above my bed... I laugh quietly at this, now to set my alarm clock, since Tessa doesn't know that i'm out yet, She won't come to wake me...

I fall asleep right then and there, mentally prepping myself for waking up earlier tomorrow.

A/N: I decided to just upfate it after reading through it quickly to fix most of the spelling mistakes... I was planning on writing a bit more on the next chapter before posting this... But, well... I might not post for a little while which i am so sorry for... I'll explain why, just bear with me okay?

Today my dog died... And this might not sound like much, but this dog has been with me since i was a kid, she was practically my sister... And she was the sweetest doberman you would ever meet... With her floppy ears and  that she would do anything for a little bit of attention... She was a real couch potato that dog, and i loved her to bits... I'm going to miss her a lot, but what hurts the most is probably the fact that i didn't get to say goodbye... She lives with my mom, and i live with my dad... I think i'll be okay though, dad is trying really hard to comfort me with pudding and doctor who, so that's a plus i guess...

Sorry for pulling the sob story, but i just need to get used to the thought of not being able to see my sunshine any more... And i have a few things to sort through... So i might take a break, or i might not... Depends on my mood i gues... Well, i hope you at least enjoyed this chapter ;)

Stay classy!