camisado ; larry

prologue

Dear Harry,

I'm sorry, so very sorry. You've been asleep for months now, and there are no signs of you waking up any time soon. That is why I'm writing this letter. In fact, I'm currently writing it under the covers of our bed, attempting to come to grips with the whole situation.

I wish that I could have been in that car with you. If I was driving, I would have been hit instead of you. The stupid drunk driver got bailed out by one of his friends. It's ridiculous. They deserve to be killed, especially because if what they've done to you. You're not concious right now, but if you was I wouldn't be able to even imagine the pain you're going through. I mean, you've broken nearly every bone in your body, man - fuck.

The boys have been missing you, too, they've been missing you almost as much as me. Zayn cried for hours when I first told him what had happened. It was a shock to the system, to say the least. None of us expected it, you're usually cautious as hell when you drive. We were talking about it, actually, and we all agreed that they were half expecting me to crash the car before you.

So much had changed since you blacked out, Harry. Our house is deadly silent now, and it's almost uncomfortable. I miss the sound of your laughs. They were some of my favourite noises in the entire world. They were the only things that could bring a genuine smile to my face. Now, they only make me sob into your pillow at three in the morning and you can't comfort me because you're not here.

On the bright side, I made a new friend! I thought you'd like to know, because everyone on the planet knows that I'd rather stay inside for weeks on end than talk to people. Whatever, I'm getting off track. Her name is Ellie, and she's pretty cool. I think you'd really like her, she seems to like you. Whenever I talk about you she always seems really interested. I'm assuming it's from pity, but it's nice nonetheless.

We actually met at the hospital, when I was waiting to be let into your room. She was there to see her friend, too. She never told me why she was there, but she seemed deeply upset by it, so I didn't ask. I told her about you, and she thinks it's awesome how you started to talk to me randomly, even though nobody else would dare to. I think it's pretty awesome, too.

I don't know how much you'll remember when you come around - if you come around, but I just want you to know that I love you more than anything. These past four months have been hell for me, but the five before that held some of the best moments of my life. It was the calm before the storm, I guess.

Do you remember what happened the day before this happened? We had an argument. It was worse than the other ones we've had. I can't help but beat myself up about it. What if I was the reason you went out that night? You said you were going out for a few drinks, Harry. Dammit, I should haven ever let you walk out that door. I love you too much to let you go like this.

Why did I even write this letter? Because I'm exhausted. I hate to say it, Harry, but coming to the hospital every damn day just to see your cold body plugged into the IV machine has taken all of the energy out of me. So this is it. I'm not going to visit you any more. I'm sorry, but I can't face it any longer. Just remember; I love you.

Forever and always, darling,

Your love, Louis Tomlinson