Cant Be Fixed

prologue

Warming⚠️
This book contains some mature content, abuse fored and triggering scenes..... don't read if it make you uncomfortable...... I dont want to see any rude or negative comments to this book or myself....... plz don't copy my ideas in this book plz enjoy this book

You have been warned
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There I was again in pain, laying there broken, and damage from all the pain they brought upon me. Staring at the ceiling waiting for them to finishes with me, Just for me tell them I love them and I belong to them.

Sometimes I question myself, do I really love them? do they really love me? Or is it all just in my head? Have I been conditioned to love them, serve them, need them? Thats a good questions but can't be answered..... It's hard to think that I still love them after all the thing they put me thought but I do. I dont know why....I just do maybe its because of all the pain and i fell lost without them. All I know is them.
 
I live and breathe of them I'm nothing without them. I once had a normal life before all this. Just a normal shy black girl but got sucked in to the world of darkness and pain. I once had a proper family who loved me. I was happy I think but I can't remember. Its like I lost all memory of my past life before meeting the two devilishly handsome men. But all I know is that my family die somehow. However I know that they was involved in the dead of my family.

By now you are wondering who 'they' are well they are my so called lovers, abusers and the darkness in my life. Also they are well knowed and feared mafia bosses in the whole Italian and Russian mafia. They are the definition of danger and power. They suck you in like a black hole I learned it the hard well.

' bend over love....you look even more beautiful with all those marks and
Bruises on your dark-skin'  said Alessandro, thats is one of the pet names thar they call me love, angel, dollface whenever they are in a good mood.

I feel empty, used. I want to leave but I can't. You may be asking why? Well because if I try or even think about escaping I wouldn't know what they would do to me or know where to go they track my every move. I remember once I tried to escape I cant remember the full details but I remember they broke my legs and wrist and locked me in a room full of my worst fears they already beaten me, marked me, raped me. I remember them saying that it would teach me a lesson that I cant escape from them and that I am just a toy to be used.
I felt hopeless... I still do feel hopeless. They are evil but i still love them... they make me feel love somehow....I dont know how to explain it.

                  I'm so broken
                  I'm so empty
               Lost from the light