The state that I'm in. (BEING EDITED)

Bubble

The realization that life as I knew it was pretty much over with Harry being a part of it, hit me hard when I lay on my sofa, my head resting on his lap supposedly watching TV, revisiting in my memory the night’s events. I could sense that Harry was still tense and buried in his own thoughts as I noticed that a stupid reality show about farmers was on that neither of us would normally be watching had we actually paid attention to the TV. I felt so sorry that he had to go through all the things he had described picturing him in long hard discussions with Nadia’s parents and her family, his family; the anxiety and stress that he had to undergo and the decision to do the right thing to him and to his son…Nobody should be subjected into this kind of pressure at such a tender age… I stopped watching the screen all together my head facing the ceiling, Harry’s look a while ago haunting me. He was beyond doubt terrified that once I realized the mess I got myself into I would definitely give up on him, on us but little did he know that I couldn’t even contemplate anything remotely close to that. I wouldn’t be able to stay away from him knowing that he wanted me close…it was impossible.

“Penny for your thoughts…” he said distracting me.

“Hey…I am just tired”, I lied.

“You wanna go get some sleep…” he added his fingers playing with my hair, his eyes staring mine before he leaned to give me a soft kiss.

“We should…” I replied.

I slowly got up, switched off the TV and the lights with Harry observing my every move following me. As soon as I entered my room to get my pyjamas, I realized that Harry stood by the door silently debating whether to come in or sleep in Rose’s room which I found rather amusing. I took my stuff and went to the bathroom…

“Goodnight Valerie” he said rather formally turning to Rose’s room a bit disappointed that I hadn’t invited him to stay in mine.

“Goodnight Harry…” I replied opening the bathroom door smiling sweetly, torturing him for a bit more.

I could hear him in Rose’s room while I was changing and then brushing my teeth.

“You do remember I take the right side of the bed, don’t you?” I shouted from the closed door and I could literally hear the sigh of relief from the next room.

“Yeah”, he said casually as if he was absolutely certain we were sharing the bed.

When I opened the door I was faced with this unbelievably handsome man, with a cheeky grin on his face wearing only his black boxers waiting to use the bathroom, too.

“You do, hah?”

“Yeah, right side, got it…”

“Then why is Rose’s duvet on the side …” I called him on his lie.

“Shut up!” he answered playfully and I chuckled as if nothing had happened that night, as if everything would be OK, as if rose petals were strewn in our paths and nothing would ever change this light, happy mood we were in. I let myself believe the lie because I needed to. Considering any other possibility would ruin everything and I felt that I was running out of time, the clock was ticking. It wasn’t fair but that’s life, it never is…

Moments after, Harry was lying next to me in my bed holding me, cuddling, caressing my arm with one hand and soon I was sleeping, a dreamless sleep.

The next few days were thankfully uneventful. Harry and I spent most of them at home enjoying each other’s company, talking, kissing and simply just lying in bed, at the club where I was working or simply hanging out with friends or at beautiful small cafés and bistros, unwinding just the two of us. We had slowly started getting to know each other and I loved learning the little things that he so much enjoyed, the things that made him tick and what he absolutely detested. I adored listening to him talking about his family, his sister, stories from childhood or how he met Leo. I cherished the moments he held my hand in his and the rides he took me on his bike, how he took care of me and always made sure that I felt OK, whether I was hungry, thirsty, sleepy, tired, cold…he catered my every need and I felt so lucky to have all this attention from him.

Although we only knew each other for so little, there was no awkward moment living basically together in the same apartment for almost a week, apart from that first night. One would have thought that we had been living together as a couple for months. He seemed so carefree here away from everything and so genuinely happy to be around me. I could feel it the same way I could sense my relaxed attitude towards him. Never before had I been so comfortable around a boyfriend in my life. Again we lived in our little bubble where only he and I existed…

“Haz, I need to get some groceries, I’ll be back in twenty minutes or so” I announced entering my room while he was occupied with my ipad.

'I love it when you call me that' he said smiling warmly at me.“Groceries?' he added when he realised what i had said. 'No, let me. Besides it’s only fair. I’ve been here for almost a week. I should contribute…It’s Rose’s stuff, too that I’ve been using…” he said before I could protest.

“I’ll be back in a while.  Have a look at the study guide once more before you decide baby and I’ll tell you what.”

“What do you have in mind?” I asked curiously.

“You pick your lessons, I’ll go to the grocery store and when I come back, I’ll cook you dinner, hm?” he added swiftly taking the shopping list from my fingers.

“Ooooh! So you’ll cook for me again” I replied remembering our first date, the one when he hardly talked about himself and I couldn’t help but smile at the fact that he had come such a long way since then.

“If you behave I will…” he said with a smirk walking to the living room with me following him as he grabbed his keys and jacket heading to the door opening it hastily only returning to kiss me a chaste kiss before closing it behind him.

I smiled at his last words and took the study guide finally retrieving to my comfortable armchair to examine it thoroughly. Fifteen minutes later there was a knock on the door. Harry was probably carrying the groceries and needed help so I rapidly got up to give him a hand.

“ Hey Haz, need hel…” I said my words cut in half when realizing the person in front of me wasn’t Harry.

“Hi. You must be Valerie. My name is Helena. I saw you the other day…” she said and I froze.