"Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall. All you've got to do is call. And I'll be there, you've got a friend."
I've always been questioning myself on that line. A friend who's going to be there for you even if seasons passes by. I wanted to prove that. Let's see where will fate take me on this so called "Friendship".
Sixteen years have passed and still I don't have a single friend to trust to. Not even once. Until one day a guy showed up on the first day of class in Senior Year. He was John.
He was a very enthusiastic guy. Friendly, not to mention hot. Well, there I was sitting alone on the corner of the room reading "Trigonometry for Dummies: Season 8" when he suddenly reached out his hands on my eyes and tried to say "Guess who?"
And of course, I was startled. "Oh my gosh! Who in the world of Lindsay Lohan are you?!"
"Haha, it's me, John. John Javier. Nice to meet you Joana Reeve."
"Dude, this is the first time that an unknown guy tried to put his big hands on my eyes letting me guess who he is. I don't care if you're John Javier! You were disturbing me! I mean, dude, hello I was reading! sheesh. . "
"Ok . . ok ... I'm sorry . . . haha it just intrigues me to see you all alone in this corner when in fact its orientation day in Senior Year! You should be socializing with others by now."
He was annoying. But somehow, he helped me. He helped me to have friends, to have a normal social life with others. And not for long, we became best of friends. I was there for him whenever he's down and he too was there for me whenever I'm alone. Now I have proven that frienship does exist. And that line from a specific song was true. Now this is the very reason why, I came to love my bestfriend.
"John! let's walk home together! I bet you're afraid of ghosts again lurking in your streets. [laughs]
"No I don't! You little!"
"Hahaha! Try catching me weirdo! Run faster gaydude!"
Happy moments felt like forever. Everyday felt like spring whenever were together. Every dream that I've dreamt was him. It was always been him. I've hoped that this friendship of ours would step up on a new level. And I mean to a 'whole-new-level' kind of thing. Alas, fate failed to grant my heart's wish.
"Hey, Joana, can I talk to you about something personal?"
"Yeah, sure. What is it about?" Oh my, I hoped he wants to take it to that 'Level' now.
"Well, for me, you're the only one who knows how to understand this kind of thing. And yeah, I trust you more than my other friends in school. Well, there's this girl, and its her birthday on wednesday and up until now I still don't have a gift to give. Well, I have to give her a gift you know, she's important."
"How important is she to you?"
"Well, she's my love. She's the one my heart desires. She's everything to me. She's my girlfriend. Oh biscuits! It's too embarassing for this kind of topic to talk about Joana. I'm sorry."
"Its okay. I understand."
Ouch. And for once, hoping for something doesn't exist anymore. And yes, I helped him pick a gift for her.
Finally, it was his 'lovey-dubs' birthday. He acted so romantic when he gave his gift to her in front of our classmates. How I badly wished that it was me in that girl's place. I just dont get it. I dont understand why.
"Hold it! Stop! John! John! Why? Why her? Why not me?"
"Joana? What are you talking about"
"I mean, I'm your best friend. We laugh together, we walk home together, we eat lunch together, we go to malls together. Why didn't you picked me? We were perfect as friends but we will be more perfect if were together officialy. Why John? I have loved you! I love you so much!"
"Joana, calm down. Well, I'm sorry if I've hurt your feelings or something. But you're just my friend. And being a friend is the only thing I've felt for you. Nothing more, nothing less. But believe me, I have loved you as my best friend. And I've wanted to keep it that way. I'm sorry Joana."
Two weeks have passed and I still didn't speak to him since. Whenever we pass each other in the hallway, I just turn around and walk away. Until one day, he grabbed my shoulders and shouted to my face:
"Joana! What in the world is wrong with you?! Are you just going to let go of our friendship because of me not loving you back? Or by not asking you to be my girl?!"
"Yes. And what if that's the reason huh? I have loved you so much, you should've loved me too John. You should've loved me back . . . [cried]"
And with a loud voice, "You cannot force my heart to love someone that I don't love Joana! I wanted you to be my friend! And just a friend! that's all! I don't want for the both of us to be in a relationship because I know that our friendship will break if that happens. And I dont want that. You get me?! A day without your best friend's incisive voice shouting at you, scaring you, is painful. A day without you staying by my side, listening to my problems is too much of a suffer to me. So please, Joana, if you really love me then stay, stay being my bestfriend.
Sadness went down through my cheeks. I should've never hope for something like this in the first place. Five months have passed and I've totally forgot that I know him. Until one sunny day, he suddenly appeared.
"Joana, wanna walk home together?"
At first, I had a feeling of not accepting his request but then again I did. Should I walk away? Or should I accept it? Well, unfortunately I accepted it. Cause' somehow, I now realize that without your best friend, it's hard to move one with life's hard moments. No one to lean to; no one to cry on to;no one to laugh on with and no one to talk to comfortably. So yes, even if love betrayed me at first, still friendship never tried to lie.
"Sure. Friend."
