We are often given the choice to believe in reality or trust in what dreams have to offer us..mistakes made...dreaded regrets..how much can one truly take ?
It wasn't always like this..at least that what she says.
She lied on the paddyfield, admiring the magnificent sky..making shapes of the clouds in the sky...with her retriever, Goldie. " Alice! Alice! Come in for lunch! " mum yelled. She got up..flicked the leaves of her long blonde hair and ran into her countryside home with Goldie. She grabbed her meal and sat down. Mum was washing the dishes..while dad was singing and reading the newspaper.. Mum joined in wiping off the barbeque sauce on dad's face. They both smiled at one another lovingly. Alice can't help but admire the love her parents have.
Mum loved painting.. Alice would catch her mum lost in her own paintings..for hours and hours. Every painting had a meaning..a reason..a memory. Alice would just stare at mum..and she herself decided to take up the hobby. Though she wasn't as good as mum..she was still talented. Mum was thrilled to see her daughter following her footsteps. Through painting..Alice could see the world through a totally new perspective..she could express her feelings through her fingertips.
Alice grew up watching fairytales leading her to endless hours of herself imagining a wonderland for herself. She would paint herself in different worlds..of course with Goldie by her side. Mum and dad would tuck her to bed..singing her favourite songs. And every now and then..they would tell her their adventures as lovers before she was born. Alice would smile and laugh and cant help but wish she was there to see it all. How her parents met..how they fell in love.. Alice was convinced her parents love was a fairytale..before her eyes.
Alice was homeschooled. Her teacher, Amanda was her best friend. Amanda always told her to have faith..and hope..to believe in the impossible..and never fear of the unknown. Amanda was always around..teaching her and sometimes sneakin Alice out to get ice cream and play at the arcade. Amanda would take Alice under her arm and teach her life lessons while walking Goldie in the park. Anytime Alice had a problem..Amanda would be in the mist of solving them before Alice had the chance to tell her,
Life was great for Alice. She had a great home with a loving family..Amanda and Goldie too. She spent her days running around the paddyfield creating her wonderland behind her home..or riding her stallion Snow..around the field..pretending she was a warrior at war. But her favaourite activity was having dad or mum read her, her favourite storybooks. Because it meant time with them..from their busy workdays. " Daddy, do you believe in fairytales? " she remembered asking once. Dad grinned. " As long as i remembered dear. " Alice's eyes sparkled with hope as she hugged her dad and went to bed.
Death soon arrived as Goldie who was her mum's dog had grown old and sick. Vets said there was nothing they could do to save her anymore. " It's time for her to leave, Alice. She will be happier in heaven. Lets stop her suffering." " No! She can't! I want her to be happier here with me! She just can't...die..and leave me!" Goldie was brought home..but she just laid there under the tree..staring at Alice. " Come on girl! Come here! " Alice called out to Goldie. And Goldie would summon all the strenght she could to reach Alice. Alice couldn't accept the fact that her best friend..was slowly dying..and leaving her.
Eventually Goldie died lying in the paddyfield where she and Alice always laid. Alice was broken. She cried and cried. She spent days refusing to eat. All she did was sit in her room staring at her paintings of her dog..Reminiscing the memories they once had..but now just a memory..which would soon fade away.
One day she came back from the park to find Amanda driving off from her home. " That's funny.." Alice thought to herself.." I don't recall having class today.." But she decided to shake it off and make her way home. Dad was home whipping up some freshly tossed salad. " Want some? " he asked. Alice shook her head and went to her room. Mum had been away often once she was promoted. Alice missed time with her..singing, painting, falling asleep in her mum. All she could do was catch a glimpse of her mum before she left for work everyday.
Amanda came over for Christmas day with gifts. Alice was glad to see her. Amanda was the only friend she had left besides Goldie. " Present time! " amanda yelled. " Go on, open it!" Alice took the pink box from Amanda and inside was a locket with the word " Dream and Believe " on it. She popped it open and a tear rolled down her face. It was a picture of Goldie and her at the paddyfield when she was younger. " I love it..thank you. You always make me happy. " Alice said as she hugged Amanda. Next was mum and dad's gift which was a new set of art material which she loved too. " Merry Christmas sweetheart"
On a Monday morning when Alice went for weekly art class. She was dissapointed to find her art teacher had fallen ill so class was canceled. So she made her way back home to have a nap. She went into her room to nap but heard sounds coming from outside. So she rubbed her eyes and decided to investigate. It was from Dad's room. So she slowly walked over to her parent's room. " Daddy you home?" she pushed the door open.
Alice's heart sank as she froze in shock. Before her was her dad in bed..but not with mum but Amanda. With their clothes toss all around the room. Alice ran back to her room without her word. " honey i can explain! Please come out! " dad yelled. " Yes Alice please listen! " Amanda continued. But Alice refused..she couldnt believe what she just saw. She felt so betrayed so hurt.
The affair and cheating had went on for two years. Amanda would come over everytime Alice went to artclass and well since her mum wasnt really around..it was easy. Dad said that he did it because he was lonely..because his wife wasn't around at all. " How could you do this to me? " Alice questioned. " After all those times..telling me about you and mum..how much you love her! Your fairytale love story..." Dad sighed. " Ow grow up Alice! There's no such thing as your stupid mindless fairytales! Stop pretending like our family was ever happy! " " We were happy dad! We were! " " You're so naive..Alice. You never saw the arguements? The fights! Your mum..she doesn't even look or even talk to me before we go to sleep. What do you expect me to do? " " I wished you were the person I looked up to." Alice sobbed.
Mum and Dad got a divorce weeks after. And dad married Amanda two months later and left them. Alice and her mum were left to fend for themselves. Mum was so upset with the whole situation,,till she went crazy. Alice was forced to work several jobs to help her mum which could no longer take care of herself. Their house was sold and they had to move into a small apartment. Mum attempted to cut herself several times..which made Alice's nights a living hell. She could never sleep knowing her mum was in so much agony and pain.
Alice threw all her paintings away and burnt them. She became a secretary for a small firm and earned a living there. As years passed, Alice had lost all hope..she no longer believed in faith.,she was no longer a dreamer. Being realistic was all she thought about. "Alice..why dont you paint for me? " her mum asked once. " There's no time mama..i gotta work."
So this is how Alice continued her life..picking up the broken pieces of her heart..and worked everyday till her body was sore from her other jobs. She gave up on her dreams. She gave up trusting anybody. She was an entirely different person..
A girl who was once a dreamer..is now dull and stuck in the harsh real world..only to hope that someday she would be rescued...
