A Court of Gardens and Assassins

Chapter Eight: The Couple in the Gardens

While the High Ladies were off preparing for battle, Elain was recruiting Trashlin to her side. Now, Elain wasn't used to speaking as SJM didn't give her a whole lot of dialogue until ACOFAS. She wrung her hands nervously because this was the most character development she's had and wasn't too sure what she was doing.

She had decided to visit Trashlin at his estate in the spring court and boy was she glad she did because it was like her wet dream come to life.

She was admiring a rose bush which vaguely reminded her of Nesta because it was prickly when Tampon came up behind her. He stood tall and exuded luxury with a hint of misogyny.

"Isn't it ironic that the love of my life's sister is here seeking my counsel," Tamlin sneered with disgust like a white suburban mom who's demanding to speak to a manager.

"Before you associate me with Feyre, hear me out," Mulch pleaded, desperation pouring out of her like literally any single teenage boy in high school.

Tamlin paused and allowed her to proceed. Mulch gulped. Maybe seeking Tamlin's assistance was as bad of a decision as reelecting Donald Trump in the 2020 election. Here she stood in a High Lord's presence which was intimidating, to say the least. It had her knees as weak as Rhysand's pullout game. She swallowed down her hesitation.

"Feyre and I are nothing alike. All those times she went out and provided for our family, I just sat back and observed as you did during her trials under the mountain. Don't you see? You and I, we're the same."

Mulch dared to let her gaze meet Tamlin's. His green eyes were boring into hers. The type of chemistry they were sharing at this moment was worthy of its own Bill Nye special.

Mulch decided to take a different route in manipulating Tampon into helping her. Dramatically, she cried out, "We would be perfect together. You're afraid of being hurt again like a boy named Kyle that had his heartbroken that one time in the sixth grade and I love being told what to do."

Tamlin peered down at her curiously. "What exactly are you proposing?"

Mulch fought back a whimper. The word 'propose' reminded her of that random human in the mortal realm she was briefly engaged to. Remember the one that wanted her dead and hated her more than anything whose name I can't remember because he was easily forgettable yet Mulch was still madly in love with him? Yeah, that one. For the sake of the war, she'd press on.

"An alliance. There is a war between me and the Dusk Court; don't ask for details. No one, not even the authors, have any. That's not the point. We could form a partnership..."

"Like a professional one?"

Mulch let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "There's nothing professional about what I feel for you."

Mulch had noticed how easy Tampon was when it came to love and she was using this to her advantage like a white boy whose dad is a lawyer. She batted her eyelashes at him flirtily. To an onlooker, one would think she was having an epileptic seizure and would seek medical help, but Tampon was no onlooker. Instead, he succumbed to her charms faster than a civil war soldier did his wounds.

"Listen, I don't care if you are or aren't with Lucien, and apparently you don't either. Falling in love with other people's mates is kinda my thing and I'll be damned if I ever let myself have a redemption arc. My newfound love for you has crippled me more than your sister did my entire court at the start of ACOWAR. I will help you on one condition."

"What is it," Mulch breathed like an asthmatic person who lost their inhaler; sexily.

"I will do all the protection because it worked really well for me last time," as he slid his claws out.

"Phew," Mulch sighed, full of relief. "I thought you were gonna have me do something actually useful."

DUN DUN DUN