Conflicted

Chapter 1

Pass down the ball! Move faster! Put more strength into your hand. Yeah, just like that, now hit! Hit hard, damn it!- My ears were being blown off by his voice. I am already tired and his constant yapping just annoyed me.

Atta boy!- that damn hag. Wait, what? "Atta boy"- what am I, a dog?- I exclaimed in my mind, sending him a glare.

Shut up- I grumbled under my breath, making a move forward with my racket, putting all my strength in it in attempt to hit the tennis ball back to him as hard as I can. I honestly don't mind if the ball hits him. My breath ragged, my muscles tense and hurting, I'm sweaty and exhausted.

-It's enough!- I yelled out. 

-Here, hit some- passing the racket to my friend Alex. Man, the water bottle looked like a trophy shining in front of me, no better reward than grabbing it and drinking it till the last drop. I sat down by the fence holding onto my bottle of water as if it was the most sacred thing on this earth. A couple of grunts from the old hag and the sound of ball tapping on the ground we were done. Now, I'm not a pro tennis player, I actually barely know how to play but I took a liking to it, hence sports are usually not my cup of tea. I needed some kid of physical activity, my psychiatrist has been nagging me to find something, a hobby that includes physical activity. 

-You need some physical activity, a sport or something. You need to filter that anger out of your system- I mimicked in my head.

-Wanna hang out later?- Alex is a very outgoing type unlike me, so he always has somewhere to go or to party. I averted my eyes from him to the motioning blur outside the window.

-I don't know, I'm beat- I wasn't really in the mood, but then again I was rarely in the mood for partying. We'll see- I added. He knew I was dodging it, Alex knows me and my half-assed excuses all too well. A deep sigh escaped his lips as he turned his attention to me.

-Fine, let me know either way, though I promise it will be fun. It's been ages since we've gone out.- I like how he gives me space, and subtly tries to change my mind, but not by pestering me so I snap, he knows my boundaries. Both of us grew quiet as I zoned out. The only sound in the cars was that of some pop song on the radio. The ride passed in a  blur and I was glad. I couldn't handle being sweaty and sticky for much longer. Exiting the vehicle I thanked Alex for the ride. 

-Nothing dude, don't forget to let me know if your sweet ass is coming along- he yelled rolling down the window, getting only a glare in a return from me. He always harasses me about my ass. Unlike other guys my hips are a tad bit wider and my ass fairly plump. I'm a bit on the scrawny side. It's not like I have no muscles, I'm lean and have some but I'm far from your ideal male. Finally home! I dropped the bag on the floor and reached the bathroom with the speed of the light. Stripping down of my sweaty clothes I looked myself in the mirror. Thoughts about how unsatisfied I am with my body started swimming through my mind. I shrugged them off, it's not the time to be getting depressed, I am too tired for that shit. I turned the knob and let out a moan when the hot water hit my skin. -Oh fuck, this was amazing. The tension slowly slipped away from my body and my sore muscles relaxed. -Which one should I use? I was looking and tapping my fingers on the few bottles of shower gels displayed in front of me. Cashmere maybe? If I was going out, that is. But it's been a while since I've let loose, all the time trapped between home chores and work. I kind of wanted to go, but I also wanted to stay at home binge watching series and eating popcorn. I'm not exactly the most outgoing type, and let's not talk about how long I haven't gotten laid. My member was reacting just on the thought of it. It's also been a while since I've touched myself, always falling asleep or running around. I slid my hand down my abs, towards my v-line slowly tracing every little curve. Closing my eyes, my breath hitched a little, I was sensitive, it really has been a while. Imagining muscular arms violating me, I grabbed my shaft and gave it a stroke. Biting my lip I suppressed a loud moan that was threatening to come out. It felt so nice. My body was heating up. Oh fuck, moans spilled out my mouth and just when it got to the best part, my phone started ringing.  Once, twice, three times. A loud bang on the shower glass and a loud groan later I answered.

-What?!- I spat, obviously annoyed to whomever just cockblocked me. 

-Whoaa dude, don't kill me. I was wondering what decision did you make?- damn Alex, I made the decision to wring your little neck, I thought.

-I'll be ready by nine- I huffed in one breath and hung up. It was now 08:15pm, there was no way I could continue my little pleasure. I rinsed out and went to the closet accpeting the fact that I'll have blue balls tonight.