WARNING, there will be thoughts of suicide and discussion about self harm.
NOTES, i feel like this was all over the place.
NOT EDITED!!
y/n gazed down at her hands as thoughts started clouding her mind about the event that had happened almost a month ago. she understood that she wasn't over him, she still loved him. she still would've done anything for him if he had asked. but like she said, he hadn't texted her or called her once— not even one post about her.
she had thought that he had gotten over her because it had almost been a month the two hadn't seen each other.
but really, jordan had been an utter mess without
y/n. it felt as if every night he thought it would've ended, but it kept going. he thought that his lungs would've collapsed by now from how hard he had been breathing from how hard he was crying.
currently, jordan had been staring at his ceiling for the past hour, thinking of how she made him feel and how he'd get butterflies each time he kissed her or even when she looked over at him. he missed her smile— now, it felt as if every time he went to reach out for her, she kept going further away from him.
"so, y/n, how've you been feeling lately?" rose questioned as the girl wiped her eyes quickly and gazed up from her hands.
"w-what?" y/n squinted.
"i asked, how've you been," rose smile faltered as she took in how y/n dressed and how the tears couldn't stop running down her rosy cheeks. "you still thinking about him?"
y/n nodded. "i-i don't want to be, i just miss him so much, ms. jacklyn. i know i shouldn't be, but i can't stop..." the room was silent for a few minutes as rose thought of something to say. "i just want it all to stop..."
rose straightened out her back. "have you been... self-harming?"
hesitantly, y/n rolled her sleeves up, revealing the scars around her wrists. once she had gotten a good look at them, she almost felt as if her lungs had gotten trapped beneath a pillow and couldn't breathe properly.
"y/n, you need to calm down." rose sat next to the whimpering girl and engulfed her small body in a hug. "you need to breathe, take deep breaths, okay? can you do that for me?"
jordan grabbed his car keys, along with his phone and mask. he skimmed up his stairs and almost tripped while he rushed toward his car, his mind set on one thing only. jordan slipped into his car, turning the ignition on before driving out of the driveway and down the street.
his fingers tapped along the steering while his mind didn't seem to stop thinking once while he drove.
"how long have you been doing this?"
"a few weeks. whenever we didn't have a session and i needed to talk about my feelings, i'd just..."
"you can't do that anymore. you need to heal, so i'm gonna give you my phone number."
"you don't—"
"i want to. i want to see you happy again, y/n. do you know what i would do to see you happy?"
"you're just saying that 'cause you're my therapist."
"no, i'm not," rose shook her head. "we've created a friendly bond, y/n. and i want to keep this bond because you're my friend and i want to see you bloom into a beautiful flower that you are. i want to see you progress in to the person you want to be."
"what if i don't?"
"you will."
"she just left." rose stated, her eyes gazing down to the parking lot as she watched y/n get into her car safely.
"i-i know. i just saw her."
"so, why're you here?" rose looked over at the saddened boy. "you ended your sessions a week ago."
the boy shrugged and fell into the chair, across from her desk. rose sat down in her desk chair and couldn't seem to make eye contact with him.
"does she still talk about me?"
"of course she does, she hasn't stopped talking about you, jordan. she fucking self-harmed over you and you know how bad her thoughts must be in order to self-harm!" rose exclaimed, now standing on her feet and pointing her pointer finger at him. "it makes her want to... basically... disappear just to know that you haven't came into contact with her."
"she didn't want me to."
"what made you guys break up?"
"an argument," jordan said simply, not wanting to talk about what they had argued about because he knew if he did, he would've broken down crying. "and i really don't wanna talk about it."
"we'll get there."
