Built from pain

My first love

      "If you love me you'll do it", whispered my soon to baby-daddy Paul.
   "I do love you I'm just not ready ", I whined.
  "Then you don't love me.  come on baby. I love you . I ain't gone never leave you" he said as he unbuttoned my pants.
      Let me give y'all the spill first . My  name is Toriana . Tori for short. My young 14 year old ass done let this nigga trick me . Y'all a soon see I'm too sweet .. to soft .. but baybbeee all that will soon change . But for now this nigga gone have me feeling my self or as my og a say smelling myself . Now back to the story.
     "Ouch. Please go slower" I cried softly l.
He kissed my lips went slower but deeper. It hurted until I felt some warm run down my legs. My damn cherry popped. Then it started feeling sooo damn good . Moaning. Kissing .. griping . He started to cum . I realized he ain't have not a damn condom on.

See I never was this type of girl . To even have sex. Sneak around . Lie to my momma. I was always quiet and well behaved . But after getting me some and now headed off to high school.. wheeewww chillie here go high school ...

"Let me see your phone"
I looked up to see a very light bright medium height bright smile fine ass dude standing Infront of me.
"Why?" I questioned
"I wanna put my number in it" he said with the prettiest smiled
"Nope!" Im straight , I spoke nonchalantly
This nigga had the nerve to snatch my
Phone out my hand. Put his number in . Call his phone off mines and walk off smiling .

Soon school was out I wanted to call him. But I played it cool and gave it 30 mins after school ended lol.
"Hello"
Just hearing him saying hello made my pussy jump.
"Hey this To-," I tried getting out
"Lol took you long enough Toriana" he laughed again .
"And I ain't get your name"
" lol we in the same class, you know my name but just call me DJ," he replied.

And from that day fourth we talked for hours otp . I mean hours . Nonstop. Before school . After school . During school . We was always together . Freshman year was lit. I had dj and Paul . Both was my man . Nobody knew about the other . I was good . Or so I thought.

"Toriana, who was that nigga Mfs say they seeing you chill on the porch with in shit?" Paul questioned
"Dj is a friend from school we been working on a project that's all," I replied annoyed as fuck.
" yeah ok so now you want to get in high school and change . You wanna be a Lil hoe now!" He angrily yelled.
" you the one talking to all these other bitches. I ain't doing shit!" My lying ass yelled back
" bitch I'll smack your hoe ass" he jumped up and shouted.
So at this point I knew I fucked up. I had to put on the best show possible . I started crying . Like crying crying . Yelling pushing him. Telling him he don't love or trust me . Telling him he the only man I'll ever love or ever have sex with . Just over doing it until his og walked in.
" boy what the hell you in here doing to this girl . Is you ok ? " momma T asked
" ma she good I'm sorry I got it," Paul quietly said.
Gootttt emmmmmm!!!
" baby I'm sorry I ain't gone do you like that I ain't mean to hurt you I'm sorry" he whispered
He started kissing my neck . Unzipping my pants . But kissing on my body every step of the way . Sticking his finger and my pussy while we both lick it off .. head that made my toes curl .. inserted his dick inside of me .. now I'm yelling moaning and screaming for a different reason .. sorry momma T .!

Weeks went by . I'm starting to get closer and closer with dj . I love him way more than I love Paul. But now I'm feeling sick . Sharp pains in my stomach. No period !!! This can't be how I'm gone end freshman year 5 months pregnant.!! And to top it off dj moving school and going to the same high school Paul at just to play ball .
Now at this time Paul and Dj knew of each-other . And Dj hated everything about him

"Toriana I love you but we can't talk anymore you pregnant by somebody else" dj said with pain I'm his voice.
"Dj this happened when me and u was on a break I'm sorry. U just had a girl pregnant but she got an abortion so you wanna say it's different" I cried
"Toriana I told you to been tell your momma, but listen I've been cheating all this. Don't never believe a man Toriana . We get over we ain't shit . You going threw enough and I don't wanna add more. We done".

And then he hung up . And that was the end of us .! Guess I'm just dealing with Paul. My clown ass babydaddy.

Two months passed.
I started having a dream about dj calling me telling me he sorry and we good now.
Two days later.
Ring ring ring -1:30am

" yeah Paul. What's up?" I asked
"'Man it's crazy my friend just got kilt. I'm so fucked up about it" he said.
But he did not seem sad at all.
"Damn I'm sorry to hear that. What happened ?" I questioned
" he was at a block club party and they shot the party up . Man I'm gone miss my friend. But imma call you tomorrow."
And he hung up .

The next day . I'm sitting on the couch . Og watch the news. I look up. It says Darrell "DJ" McKinney 15 year old gun down at a block party.
I was froze. In shock. I got up called Dj phone over and over. His brother answered told me he died last night. He got shot at a block club party.

The hurt that we in my heart for Dj, but the hate that was in my heart for Paul.

How could he call me last night and play like his actually friend got kilt when it was Dj. How could he play like that knowing what Dj mean to me . Knowing they was not friends . Basically this was his way of telling me yeah the nigga you was cheating on me with got kilt last night.

DJ WAS MY FIRST LOVE .