still. | a gilmore story

Introduction

The leaves were just starting to change into those colors that Rory just loved. Of all the places she had traveled, New England in the fall was her favorite.

She took in the colors; orange, rust, yellow. She watched intently as the leaves fell one by one.

She let her mind wander back to her Yale years. Wishing now, that she could turn back time and do some things differently.

She wished she could have fought Logan a little harder when he asked her to marry him. Just convinced him that even though she wasn't exactly ready for marriage, she still needed him in her life.

He had become one of her best friends, someone she could share anything with.

She often imagined what their life would look like if she had said yes.

She imagined that they would have gotten married, stayed in California for a few years, and then moved back to Connecticut when they were ready to start a family.

She imagined she would have had a little girl. One that would share her and her mother's bright blue eyes and Logan's blonde hair. Of course somewhere in the name would be Lorelai. She could never decide if she wanted to continue the tradition of the first name or a middle name. Either way, it was going to be in there somewhere.

She was soon interrupted by a raspy, sleepy voice coming from the bed.

"How long have you been sitting there?" He asked.

"Just watching the sun come up," she replied, looking back out the window.

"Come back to bed," Logan pleaded as he pushed himself up against the head board, still under the thick blankets of the inn's bed.

"How long before you have to get back?"

"Oh, I have time."

"How long?" She pressed.

"Long enough."

She gave him a skeptical look, not convinced that any time they had left would be 'long enough'.

"I have a flight out at noon," he paused for a moment, "don't do the math."

"Someone needs to," she countered.

She turned her head back to face the window, only hearing the sounds of sheets and blankets moving, signaling Logan had gotten up.

Rory was only half listening when he mentioned a diner and breakfast.

"It's really pretty here."

"Well I wanted it to be special," he said.

She agreed that it was, perfect even.

"Hey Ace," She whirled around at the sound of the nickname he gave her all those years ago, "something going on in that head of yours?"

She stood up, giving him back the key he had given her the night before.

He looked confused, possibly even hurt.

"No, no, I told you, it's yours, use it to write."

She confidently responded, "I don't need it. I know where I'm going to write."

He was still confused, but didn't push her anymore, which made her happy.

They proceeded to get dressed in silence, it only breaking when they walked downstairs to join Colin, Finn, and Robert.

After a few minutes, Rory revealed that she needed to get back home and start her writing.

This revelation led to the boys' telling her how much they were going to miss her, a sentiment she returned.

She waited until they were alone to say her goodbye to Logan.

She told herself it was for the best, that she needed to give this part of her up. They were on two different paths.

"Let's do this," he said as he pulled her into him.

The kiss was meaningful. It wasn't rushed or passion-filled. It was sweet, tender, and full of love. It was the kind of kiss that she hadn't shared with him in a long time.

They broke apart and she could see the sadness in his eyes. She wondered if he could see it in hers, too.

She watched as he took the hat from her hands and placed it on her head.

She felt herself unconsciously leaning into the warmth of his hand as he pushed a piece of her hair to the side.

He stepped back to take her in one last time.

And then before she knew it, he was out the door.

The pain in her chest grew, aching for his touch again. She already missed him and it hurt to know that this was the last time she would see him.