Living With The Boys (BEING EDITED)

Chapter 25

Maggie's POV

Waking up is a struggle.
Going to sleep is a struggle
Not crying is a struggle
Breathing is a struggle
Living. is a struggle.

2 days 3 hours 46 minutes
That's how long he's been dead
That's how long I have felt dead.

I stopped eating. he was my only reason to live.

Today is the funeral. I don't think I can take looking at his body in that casket. watching as his pack mourns the loss of their alpha and look to me for support.

I was his mate but I was never their alpha female. yet they want to make their alpha. something I can't seem to understand.

They told me to think about it, they told me I could mourn first. but I don't think I will ever be ready.

Today I will dress in black and stand in front of people I have never met, and tell them about the man that saved me.

I slowly pulled myself from chases tangled sheets. i hadn't slept in my room, and I hardly ever leave his.

I walked across the room to his closet where I had placed my dress. it was black and short, but in an appropriate way, it had a belt around the middle, short sleeves and a v neck. It wasn't exactly what I wanted, but I could barely get out of bed much less go shopping.

I took the dress of the wire hanger, and slowly placed my body into it. doing my hair and makeup was much more difficult.

This was the most effort I had put into my appearance, and I hated knowing that I was doing it to put my mate in a box in the ground.

I kept choking, trying to keep the tears back so my makeup wouldn't be ruined.

After doing a subtle smokey eye and curling my hair in soft waves, I made my way downstairs.

The service was about to begin and everyone was gathered around the base of the stairs.

I was immediately embraced by nearly everyone. they were all weeping and trying to tell me that they knew what I was going through.

I however gravitated towards the one older woman standing alone on the far side of the room.

I fought my way out of the hoard of people and somehow made my way towards her.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but notice you are standing alone." I said.

The grey haired woman looked up at me with the same piercing green eyes as chase.

"Well, it's difficult to be social at your sons funeral." she replied.

That was it. I had lost it. suddenly I was in the floor crying. I felt a frail pair of arms wrap around me and I knew it was his mother.

"I'm so sorry! This is all my fault. he came to rescue me...." I started whispering.

She just sat there with me not saying a word and when I looked up I realized the room had emptied.

The ceremony was about to begin, and I had to speak first.

Everyone stood as i slowly walked toward the podium at the front of the room. as i stepped past chases body all i wanted to do was break down, i know he would want me to be strong.

i turned to face the pack.

"Please, take your seat." i said clearing my throat." i dont have to tell you why we are all here today. Simply because it's obvious. Well, if it's obvious why we are here, then it is probably obvious what im about to say. You are all expecting me to say, he will be missed, that we all loved him, he wasa great man and an even better mate. Well, im not here to bull shit my way though this speech. Chase wouldnt want me to. So here is the truth. It is going to fucking hurt trying to get over him. Which i know i wont ever be able to do. It is going to be so hard for all of you to adjust to a new alpha. It is going to hurt like hell when you think about him, or want to tell him something and you know he wont be there. We all know Chase was a great man and great alpha. That really goes without saying. My heart has been split in two since he died. I feel his absence all the time, and i always feel alone even in this room surrounded by all of you. So here is the deal. I am going to finish this speech and go over to my mates body and cry. You will all share your stories and hear the occasional sob from me but you will continue this service. We are more than a pack. we are a family and I know we can get through this. Chase will live on in our hearts and thoughts!"

With my speech over with i did as i promised and walked around to the front of the casket, grabbed chases hand in mine and began to cry.

i sat there ans sobbed for what felt like forever when i felt the strabged thing.

no

it couldnt be

did chase just squeeze my hand?

AUTHORS NOTE

ALRIGHT SO SHOULD CHASE BE ALIVE OR DEAD? I CAN CONTINUE THE STORY EITHER WAY. ALSO WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE SPEECH?

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