Be you. Unapologetically.

Chapter One *Blake*

As I stare at myself in the mirror, my mother's words play like audio in my head. "Just because we're struggling doesn't mean we have to look like it." I stood 5'4, ebony layered my body like icing on a cake. My long black hair moved about like flowing ocean water. The sun peeking through my window glistened upon my hazel eyes. My physique gave the illusion of one who exercises daily. Although my outfit was slightly baggy, my perky C cup breast and my pleasantly plump ass stood at attention.

Growing up, it has always been just my mother and me, my dad always came and went as he pleased. He used to be consistent with only showing up on my birthday and Christmas. That gradually turned into him never showing up on Christmas and every few birthdays. I came to terms that he had other things more important than spending time with me. My mother struggled tremendously trying to provide which led us in and out of shelters. Between working, doing chores at the shelter, and letting her thoughts consume her. My mother only had time to help me with my homework. We never did anything fun or just sat and talked for that matter.

We finally moved into our place, I was so excited and I figured that now my mother would be able to spend more time with me. Nothing changed, it seemed like she'd work more and as I grew older her patience for me grew less. I begin writing to help me express my feelings and to cope with my depression. I've always hidden what I was going through from the world because everyone has their problems and if my mother didn't care about my emotions, why would others? I would often watch either love shows highlighting that perfect love story or shows involving family, fantasizing about being the daughter in that perfect family. I knew my mother loved me, she just had a hard time showing it with all we've been through. Sometimes I wish I had a sibling who could relate to how I was feeling and we could comfort each other.

I'm pretty outgoing so it was easy finding a job to consume my time when I wasn't in school. Plus, I thought maybe I could save up enough money to send my mother out for a day at the spa. Maybe if she's less stressed about bills and my future we'd be able to spend some time together. The money I didn't save from my paychecks I used to buy myself a few new clothes, jewelry, flat irons, and things to prepare me for college. Graduation came and went and my first day of college was nearing. I had no choice but to go to college, I wanted a better life for both my mother and me. My dream is to become a successful author and public figure.

When I came downstairs toting my packed college bags, I was shocked to see my dad sitting on the couch. I looked at my mother whose face read disgust then at my dad who stood up wearing clothes that looked and smelled like they came out of the trash. I haven't seen him in about six years and here he was, seeing me off to college like a proud father. Nervously he said, "Blake listen, I know I haven't been here for you which I have a good reason for. I wanted to give you this but don't open it until you get to school." He handed me a dirty little box and then reached in for a hug which I pulled away from. He said, "I understand" and walked out the door. I stood there with so many unasked questions, my mind drifted off. My thoughts were interrupted by my mother's voice. "Blake you have to get going or you'll be late." I kissed my mother on the cheek and gave her a tight hug then walked out the door.