Alright! This is France talking here, and I have decided to write and offensive fanfic about all of Angletterre's epic fails! Please enjoy, all of you England haters and fans!
Onhonhonhon!
Alright, statement number one! His cooking is effin' terrible! The last time he got someone to try it, they had to get their stomach pumped! Below is a conversation that we had along with America, Japan, and Russia.
F= France E= England R= Russia A= America J= Japan
F: Ah, bonjour, Angleterre. 'Ow are you?
E: I'm fine, you bloody wanker!
J: Herro, Engrand-san. I am preased to see you again.
A: Broski, what's with the basket?
E: Ah! This my dear Alfred, is a basket of... *pause for dramatic effect* SCONES!
A/F/R/J: *GASP*
F: NOT TODAY! *pulls out gun, puts on epic sunglasses*
R: Kolkolkolkolkol... *brings the Pipe of Pain out of hiding*
J: N-no thank y-you... *backs away slowly*
A: HEROS DON'T DIE WIMPY DEATHS! PLUS, I DON'T WANT TO GET MY STOMACH PUMPED AGAIN! *jumps out window*
E: Alfred! We are on the third floor, you bloody wanker!
A; I don't wanna dieeeeee......
E: O.o Not funny....
J: Hey, Engrand, I think America is in pain.
R: You are a nurse, da? *thinks about April Fools Day*
F: Onhonhonhon, a very sexy nurse at that~
E: *blushes* You bloody wanker, you.
A: H-help...
