Security

Kill Bitches, Get Money

Alright all you greedy scum of the remainder of Earth, LISTEN UP! I'm sick and tired of everyone saying how this system isn't fair. Life isn't fair. We are all dealt a different hands, what matters is what we do with it. Dealt a three of a kind? You're vibin. Just hang on to it and read the room. Full house? Splendid! You're better off than most of us. A flush or a straight? Kudos, welcome to the easy life. Royal Straight Flush? Oh boy..... everyone else like me? Who was dealt a 2 of diamonds, 3 of hearts, 5 of spades, 6 of clubs, and a 7 of spades? Kill that motherfucker with the royal straight flush. Crush his corpse so bad they gotta put em 12 feet under. But take his ace. No more, no less. Why? Take his whole hand then another scum dweller gonna shake your hand with a hand and your neck with a shiv. So play it smart. I mean yeah sure, you could hire someone to protect you for payment of 1/4 an ace of spades. But then this draws the cheater who rolls up with a whole deck worth of people. What beats a royal straight flush? A cold, calculating, manipulative bastard who has his minions kill you in front of your wife and then sending her to hell after you. Why so many card references? I just killed a fucker in a casino. Why do you ask? Are the voices back in my head? Well kindly fuck off I'm drunk right now, and I don't feel very charitable. Uh lemme think. Day blah blah blah of survival. I had some casino merch I found in a shit pile of garbage (and maybe off some dead people who I'm going to assume were playing roulette). I could pawn this stuff off so, I took the shit to my local casino. Turns out, they only pay me with fucking poker chips. I thought 'oh nice fine ill turn these in and be on my merry way.' NOPE! Buggin ass man point a gun at my head and says "you play 10 rounds, yes? Then you are free." I would have fought back but all I had on me was my knife, they took everything else at the door. Of course I lose most of it and manage to regain $20 through some very helpful bargaining and maybe some threats. Today wasn't a total loss though. Some big shot was making a racket and being obnoxious. He was clearly cheating and no one could do anything about it. A few casino goers who had been duped by this schmuck recognized my face and signaled me to wait 30 mins. I grabbed a random hooker's tits and proceeded to sit her down and have a nice conversation for an extended period of time. Turns out she is quite the lady. Only reason why she "hooks" is because she sees it as a thrill. Poor girl has to put up with so many trash people. Anyway, the group from before spread out and began gambling again. I looked towards the employees of the casino and I saw them sweating bullets. They were about to lose everything to some cheater. A man from the original group nodded at me. I not sure if this was friendly, a signal, or him sneezing but I acted the only way a man of my stature would, violently. I drew my knife a raised it towards god for all to see. No commotion. I walk towards the guy who is now in tears of joy over his "good luck." Too bad you will no longer see your wife or kids, Jim. He looked up and smiled at me. That smile quickly fell once he saw the knife. I drew it across his neck, quick, fast and hard. Blood came spilling out in small spurts. I then drove the knife into his skull. His final words were a slow gurgling "whyyyyy." Only about a quarter of the casino guards drew their guns and pointed them at me. Everyone in the place formed a defensive circle around me. Boy it feels good to be a morally gray good guy. I took his social security card, an eighth of his money from his wallet and left. The rest of those peasants can fight over the rest. Tear each other limb from limb for all I care. I left that shitty place way richer, happier, and probably gaining the same number of friends as I did enemies. Moral of the story? Grab a hooker and talk to her, who knows what will happen.