we are flowers {cake au}

chapter 17; new (january 19 24)

me myself and i
that's all i got in the end
that's what i found out
and it ain't no need to cry
i took a vow that from now on
i'm gonna be my own best friend
me myself and i; beyoncé

✿ luke ✿
luke has really only texted calum to get him off his back. to inform him, too, because he still cares. how can he not?

calum's birthday is today and luke's fingers are sort of aching to type up a quick, "happy birthday cal," but he knows he's becoming too back to normal with him.

he ends up sending it any way. of course he does. it's calum.

ashton has texted him a few times too, saying he's sorry about what he did and how he ruined them. he said things about what an amazing couple they were, and how they each were so good to each other.

calum never replies. how very un-calum. but then luke realises that he's probably out to eat with his family or some thing, doing regular birthday things.

and yeah, when one o'clock (in the fucking morning) rolls around (ten in california) and calum still isn't responding, luke would be lying to say he isn't slightly sad and confused. then he remembers that parties exist. parties with alcohol and cute boys.

calum actually never texts back until luke's seven in the morning and his four.

from: calum :/
7:03
thanks luke :-)

luke finds it hard to not be upset. every kind of upset. the hour that he received the text is sort of self-explanatory.

he knows he's being unreasonable. they're not even together any more, luke shouldn't be jealous.

but he is. the thought of calum spending his birthday with another boy or maybe a girl, it just gets under his skin. he can't stand it.

"it's just lust," he tries to convince himself. "it's just physical. you don't have any connection to him. you never loved him."

but it's just not true. calum made him feel things, more than just physically. calum made him feel special and happy and hopeful. now luke just feels stupid and unimportant. he's in second place, he can't win. calum's in california, enjoying himself (and possibly enjoying other people), and luke's still in boring pennsylvania sulking over how unfortunate he is. he's angry and hateful and sad.

every thing has become bad. things that's weren't a problem before are a problem now. little things that shouldn't be worried about are worried about now.

luke is slipping and slipping, but he doesn't want help. last time he had help, his heart ended up being broken.

· 。* 。· 。* 。·

calum keeps looking through the window. he won't stop. luke doesn't shut the curtains though, because he likes the attention.

what luke does do is a much better idea in his opinion. he brings home a boy.

he's a boy from one of luke's classes. his name is harry, and he's a few years older than luke, but he's very nice.

"what would you like to eat, harry?" luke asks him.

"any thing's fine," harry grins and says.

"hm... spaghetti," luke decides and he tells himself it's just because spaghetti is nice, but he knows it's really because he hopes that when they go upstairs that calum can see through the window that they're eating spaghetti together. it's really just to make him jealous.

luke makes the spaghetti and he and harry go up to luke's room and sit on the floor.

"you know," harry says, "it's really nice to eat a real meal. my roommate and i never have any food. you know, typical college kid status. hungry and stressed out."

luke smiles. "maybe i'll have you over for dinner more often, then."

(where is this coming from?! why is he not sad? he's on a date! he should miss calum and feel miserable! he should be nervous and sad like usual!)

harry's really a nice guy.

"so, how was your christmas?" harry asks. whoops. "did you go home and see your parents or any thing?"

"oh. my dad and i don't really have a good relationship. i don't want to talk about christmas. let's talk about some thing else."

"oh, okay. sure. let's talk about... literature. what's your favourite? it can be any thing, really."

"oh. i'm a big fan of edgar allan poe. i love tell tale heart," luke replies.

"that's so dark, luke! brighten up your interests a bit!"

(still nothing bad.)

luke just laughs and shakes his head. he and harry glance at each other and then back down at their plates, and luke stacks those on top of one another.

there's really only one thing to do. luke looks across to calum's room and sure enough, he's sitting on his bed, pretending that his ex-boyfriend isn't about to hook up with another guy.

he scoots over to sit beside harry now, and he looks at him for a while. his eyes are a really pretty shade of green and his skin looks warm (warmer than even calum's, he thinks). luke threads his fingers through harry's long hair and attaches his mouth to his.

when they stand up and luke grabs harry's hand as he kisses him again, he hopes calum's watching.

luke hopes calum's watching when he takes off harry's shirt and then his own, he hopes that calum misses him.

when they are taking off their jeans, luke desperately hopes calum's watching and he hopes calum sees when they lay in luke's bed and luke kisses harry again and again and harry licks at luke's lips.

luke hopes calum can see how good he feels without him.

luke and harry go further that night than luke and calum ever went together. luke hopes calum knows that.

· 。* 。· 。* 。·

Luke's bitter as fuck

I hope you realise that he hooked up with harry (yeah it's supposed to be harry styles. sorry, not that creative) because he was upset because he thinks that calum probably was with someone for his birthday and he's jealous and he wants to make calum jealous and he also is hoping to get over calum.

I hope you enjoyed this! I know it's probably getting boring but tbh the next couple of chapters will be like this too. things will probably pick up soon, but I'm writing exactly what my characters have grown to do. like, these characters' actions have been coming naturally because I've built them up to a certain point that this is just what they do. vote and comment, it means soooo much!

-M